First I need to paint you a picture of a big, plump, split top roll (see visual aide). You know the kind that is over flowing the edge of its baking cup. Only, picture it really white, like just before it browns.
Now, you need to picture a middle aged, plump lady PACKED into a spandex swimsuit. Picture her sitting on the end of a old wooden pier with skis on her feet and a towrope in her hands.
Well, I was that lady. Also, I was sucking it in for all it was worth because about 25 members of the group were watching me. All of them were sure they were going to see a spectacular wipe out (since I hadn't skied in years, and they all knew me to NEVER DISAPPOINT THEIR EXPECTATIONS).
Just as I was yanked off the pier, the rear of my suit snagged on a nail head. Quicker than the blink of an eye, a hole (the size of a grapefruit) was pulled from my suit. This hole was right in the middle of the body area which is frequently referred to as "the MOON."
Now, go back to what I first asked you to visualize. My suit was so tight that only a small portion of that "moon" POPPED out. I knew immediately that I was exposed and quickly let go of the towline.
I slowly turned in the water to find people sprawled all over the pier, hanging on to each other and laughing until they cried. They begged me to come out of the water so they could see "IT" again! For a while they even refused to give me a towel (great friends, huh?)
All that evening (and most of the next day) they described the scene over and over to each other (that's why I know exactly what "IT" looked like).
For some reason I acquired the nick name “MOON MAMA!” I guess it could have been worse. 100% true kt 2010
