#149- DULDRUMS: A STATE OF OR PERIOD OF INACTIVITY, STAGNATION, OR SLUMP

DISCLAIMER:  This is not one of my usual posts. But, I have been doing some heavy thinking and it's wearing me down.  Therefor I decided to share (after all this IS my therapy.  I guess that makes you guys my shrink).  If you choose to read on then you AUTOMATICALLY enlist as a "guest shrinks" and are expected to ride this out with me.


It is Tuesday, March 1st and I am sitting at my computer reading over all of the February comments I  received.  You see, I have been thinking about when the end will come.  No, Silly, NOT THAT!  I could care less about leaving this earth behind.  I was thinking about this blog.

My mind has been... ...(can't think of the word I want)... ... but I have been experiencing the...(I got it)... DOLDRUMS.  Perhaps this has been caused by the long, bleak, dreary, dismal, miserable, wretched, saturnine (look it up), frigid, snowy, winter. (See the depth of my condition?)  Perhaps it is because I reached my 70th birthday without achieving something extraordinary (like being national teacher of the year).  Perhaps it is because I am always late for everything (and just now experiencing a mid-life crisis).

Ahhhhhh, Mannnnnn, I knew it!  I answered all but 2 with YES.
On #1 my hair is already totally white (I perfer to call it platinum blond).
On #6 (as you know) I just got a tattoo.

I need to recharge, get away, to something new besides body art!  But, I can't right now.  My dad needs me here.  He would be gone in three months if I put him in a nursing home (not to mention that we can't afford it).  I could go sky diving (there is a place only an hour away from here).  I could take scuba diving classes (there's a place only 30 minutes from here).  But what if I flame out or bubble up, who will take care of Dad?

Ok, Charlie pull the chord...
Charlie....Charlie....oh, $#*!

When I was teaching I would recharge every summer and greet the first day of school with all kinds of ideas and enthusiasm.  My promise to myself was that I would retire from teaching when it became hard for me to get pumped back up.  My promise was to quit teaching when it stopped being fun (and I kept that promise).

I have made the same promise to myself about this blog.  These last two weeks I have been worried that the time has already come.  I haven't felt particularly humorous lately (and that is what my blog is all about..sharing the the humor in my life).  I guess I bit off more than I can chew.  I shouldn't have tried to post daily but, everything I read about blogging said that daily post were necessary (that is if one wanted to have someone to read the blog and leave the nourishing comments).  I spend HOURS developing posts (and reading comments) and then more HOURS reading the posts of others and commenting (after all if one says they are a follower then they should follow...right?).  I am finding that I am up later and later, trying to keep up.

Will I burn out if I keep this pace up?  Maybe that is what I am experiencing.  Another fear I have is that I will run out of things to write about about which to write (oh bother, I worry about that kind of stuff too). 

So, I am in a quandary.  I know that with spring and summer coming soon I will want to get outside, do more, visit my daughter, and on and on.  Therefore I need to cut back, but where?

Maybe go to a Monday, Wednesday, Friday posting schedule would help.  But, I love the Sunday's Song (so that has to stay).  Plus, I like Thursday's Therapy because I get to respond to the comments of others (however that is one of the harder posts to do and it takes me longer and gets more visits from the C.R.A.P. team).  I guess Totally Tubular Tuesday's could move to Wednesday (but, that is such a cool name for a post.  What could I call it if it moved to Wednesday?).  Friday Flash backs will stay for now as they are (obviously) the easiest ones to do (and they give me a chance to recycle some of my better posts to new readers).  Saturdays can be dropped because that is when I get the least traffic.  Ohhhh, mannn, this kind of thinking is a real bummer (I don't get headaches, but if I did I would be having one right now).


I guess I need to figure out why I am writing this blog in the first place.  Why would I want more readers or to even keep the readers I have?  Has this become an ego thing?  I HOPE NOT!

I started this blog because my daughter suggested that I write some of the stuff down that I share when I visit with her (face to face, on FB or over the phone).  She would crack up (but she has to, she's my daughter and she loves me).  


Then I thought it would be nice for me to write some of my stories down for my grandchildren to have as my gift to to them.

But, now, I seem to be writing more for YOU, my readers.  Although the subject matter is still about my goofy interactions with this world we live in, I have found that pleasing YOU has become more important to me.  My daughter laughingly called me a blog "ho" because your comments are a big payoff for me (I guess that would make my daughter my pimp because she started me off on this).  Actually, I think I am addicted (and before I "Sheen" I think I should take action).
No, I am not fishing for pats on the back, or encouragement, because you guys are already good about that.  However, if you have any suggestions, just spit it out.

After going through all of this I have made one decision...(see the therapy helps) I will be dropping  Thursday and Saturday.  Starting today I will let Friday's post hang over into Saturday and Wednesday's post hang over into Thursday. (Boy, I feel better already.)  I will make other decisions when spring finally gets here and maybe my funny bone will start tickling me once more (if I have to I will wash my feet in the basin again [see #47], maybe glue something else to the floor [see #148], pull another one of my Tim Taylor routines [see #138], or whatever I have to do to recharge).  I will probably post this several Saturdays so everyone can find out about my concerns and my new schedule.


Phew (3 hours later), I'm done!  Now I have Saturday, and Thursday to recharge.

kt 3/2011