#218-CHICKEN AND TATERS

WELL, FINALLY, I HAVE SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT!

I have been putting gall-bladder surgery off for about a year because I was busy taking care of Dad.  Then I took a few months off after his passing to visit my daughter in Connecticut.   When I got home in late January I finally was able to find a surgeon and schedule the darned thing.

The doctor was not very encouraging about being able to do laposcopic surgery because of a previous surgery I had in 1995.  He thought there may be too many lesions in that area since I had my spleen removed and extensive repair to my liver (after a car accident).   Not only that, much to my regret, I found out that the darned thing only weighs a few ounces which means that there will be no major weight loss once it is removed (BUMMER).

I asked him if he could strip out some of the fat that had accumulated in that area, while he was in there.  This caused him to laugh as he explained why he couldn't.  I think he thought I was serious (some people don't get my kind of humor). 

So, Friday, February 17th at 4:30 PM I went into surgery and the long and short of it is that I was home by 8:30 p.m. sitting in front of the TV with a bucket of KFC in my lap, ready for my weekly date with Tom Sellick (in Blue Bloods). (And, of course Toby and Kit were at my feet hoping  I was still loopy enough from the anesthesia to drop something).   The only problem being that Blue Bloods WAS A REPEAT!  WELL DARN!  So, I ate a thigh, leg, wing, 6 potato (tater) wedges and a biscuit to console myself; then went to bed early.  (What's going on with this font is all screwed up... oh! yeah, I forgot C.R.A.P... computer related attacks by poltergeists) .

This is the least gross image I could find.
You should see real one with all the gall stones inside....Yuck.

I wasn't having any pain what so ever so, I crawled into bed only to be awakened EVERY TWO HOURS to pee (volumes) ALL NIGHT LONG!  Good thing I wasn't in any pain because I did a couple of "Whoopie Goldberg spritzes" and had to change my pajama bottoms twice! (sorry if this is too much information?)

By 7 AM Saturday I had already spread up my bed, fed the dog and changed into a pair of sweats. Now what am I going to do? It is Saturday morning and there is nothing on TV. I am not supposed to do anything but sit, lay, nap, or walk around. So, after 5 trips through the house I decided this wasn't going to fill up my day. I really didn't want to read because I read almost an entire book while WAITING in a holding pattern around the surgery landing pad.

So, here WAS my plan...
Sit around and read, lay around and nap, walk around the house 5 times every once in a while, watch Sponge Bob, and EAT!  Then this afternoon, after the fun filled morning outlined above, I am going to go to Walmart, walk around, pick up a movie, and something to EAT (I hope this isn't the beginning of a feeding frenzy on my part) !

Looks as if I have a fun filled week end in store for me......(that is if I don't wet my pants at Walmart.  Oh, well, it's Walmart, nobody will even notice).  Maybe I'll buy some depends!.

During one of my trips (woooahhhhhh, I guess those C.R.A.P. guys really missed me as all of a sudden the font has changed - Honest, I'm NOT doing this....it just happens) anyway, during one of my trips through the house I noticed a piece of paper on my table that read "Outpatient Post Procedure Instructions."  Now, one would think that I would have read this last night.  Noooooo!  I was too looped from the anesthesia!  However, this morning I noticed that one of the very first instructions was about eating only light foods to begin with.  Woops....too late...Oh well!  Since I didn't "TOSS" the fried chicken right away I guess I'm good to go.   (I'm planning on having BUTTERED popcorn tonight!).

Oh..Oh...Fly in the ointment.....while I was composing this post, my nose started running and I began sneezing and coughing.  Yep, Murphy's Law has come into play.  I guess that ole devil is miffed that he couldn't mess with my surgery and decided to see if he could pop my stitches.  Every sneeze and cough triggered a grab response that had me creeping about the house like Quasiomoto (I don't care if I spelled that wrong I'm on  a roll here) holding my abdomen and scrounging for a remedy.  Finally, I found some 'way out of date' decongestant in the ice box, (I did pause, briefly,  to remember my bout with food poisoning -  then I considered the worse case scenario of having to go to the hospital for additional surgery if I didn't find relief -vs- the possibility that I MIGHT have to go the the hospital for an antidote if the decongestant had gone bad).  I said a brief prayer and chugged an ounce or two of the elixir!

What came upon me by that evening had nothing to do with the above decision.  As a matter of fact my cold symptoms had abated but it was the chicken I ate Friday night that bedded down in my bowels and started building a nest.  Not a pleasant feeling....So, I went back to the doctor's instructions and there it as right after the part about eating only light foods..."IT IS COMMON, FOLLOWING SURGERY, FOR PATIENTS TO BE CONSTIPATED." Well, S#*! (or rather lack there of).
You know that saying, "Man makes plans, and God laughs."  I get it now!  I guess that means no popcorn for me!

I will spare you the details of the next two days.  Let's just say that that darned chicken even built a chicken coop in my bowels, invited friends over and had a rowdy party.  Might have been a nightmare but apparently Ron White was at the party because I kept hearing my stomach growl, "The 'TATER' did it!  (If you haven't seen blue-collar comedy you won't get this.)  Anyway, the rowdy party kept me miserable 2 days and awake 2 nights.  Now, if you are counting, I am on my 3rd night without sleep, plus add 3 days without food.  I haven't kicked the dog yet or flung the cat by her tail but, I sure felt kicking or throwing something.

Ok, for your sake, I will be as vague as possible on this next part.  Suffice it to say, after taking the suggested remedy for cleaning out the chicken coop I found myself experiencing the opposite effect which, again, kept me up for 2 more nights making my own nest on 'THE THRONE'.  So, now I am up to 5 nights without sleep and 5 days with little or no food.  Both Toby and the Kit are hiding.

It is now 11:30 PM, Thursday the 23rd, almost one week after my surgery.  I am feeling better and hopefully, tomorrow, I will return to quasi(moto)-normal and be able to eat a sensible meal.  Hopefully, I will be able to sleep a full night (in bed, NOT on my nest).  I can't wait to see if I lost any weight through all of this!  (I may avoid KFC for a while).

(Quick P. S.  I weighed myself Friday...I ONLY LOST 3#...what's up with that?)

PREVIEWS OF MONDAYS TO COME:

#219-"MOM, NOW WHO'S THE STUPID ONE?"  #220-SO, I MADE A LITTLE PIT STOP! #221-PETS LEAVE THE STRANGEST GIFTS #222-THE PARTY PLANNER kt 2/27/12

#217-WHY DO I BLOG?

                                                            

I have been gone for a while in order to reprogram myself after attending to my father's needs for several
years.  I found it difficult to write anything after his passing.  However, I am going to make an attempt to get back into the mood as I need to find a jumping off place to reboot my life, so to speak.  I examined the reasons behind my need to blog in the first place and I believe that this will be a good place to start.
Some of the up coming posts will be ones that I wrote earlier.  Others will be new attempts.  You should be able to spot the difference between the two as I am finding it difficult to be humorous (which has always been one of my goals).  So, WHY DO I BLOG?

I am a story teller.  Have been forever and probably will be for a long time to come.  My daughter has been telling me to write down my stories for years.  She said she thought they were funny and always seemed to laugh even though it was the umpteenth time she heard them (what a gal!).  Then, sometime in June of 2010 she, her mother-in-law (Cathy) and a friend of theirs (George, who also has a blog) got me started on his blog.  At first I posted on George's site and then in July 2010 Patty started me off on my own.   And, as they say, the rest is history.

However, that does not answer my question, WHY BLOG?

Everyone probably has different reasons for blogging.  Their are probably numerous reasons of a very diverse nature but for me I guess the first  reason is because I was told I should (and being a good girl I always do what I am told....yeah, right!).  After I started writing I found that a void in my life was filled.  I was unable to get out and socialize due to taking care of my elderly father, so,  I used my writing as a way to communicate with others.  At first my target audience was my family; a way of documenting my stories for my children and grandchildren.  I didn't even expect them to read my blog very often as they, all, are so very busy.  (This still remains a major reason for me to blog).

The second reason is probably because I was bored.  I had recently retired and I didn't know what to do with myself.  Because of my father I couldn't take on a part time job.  I cleaned and swept and dusted and sanded and painted and washed just about everything in the house.  I dug and planted, and raked and cut and mowed just about everything else outside.  This reason has changed a little because I am now able to get out and am no longer tied to the house.  However, I am finding it difficult to make myself get out.  (Hopefully, this reason will disappear as I venture out more and more and find my place in this community to be useful.  Having already signed up for the "Pink Lady"program at the hospital I hope to also pick up some substituting jobs and maybe some babysitting.)

My third reason is that I found that something really weird happened.  People I didn't even know clicked on that little "follow" button and started making comments.  That really gave me a rush!  Wow, someone actually liked what I wrote and they weren't even related or obligated to read what I had written.  Suddenly, my reason for blogging changed.  I can't explain it but, my blog began to be very important to me.   So, I guess the third reason is to gain positive attention (oh heck, to gain ANY attention). ( I don't see this reason going away either.  We all crave positive attention and I really need it right now.)

The fourth reason came shortly after  I reached 30 or so followers.  My reasons for blogging changed, again. (or at least took on a new dimension).  I was making new friends.  Some like George, Nicki, Clenna, Julie, Carrol and April have been there almost from the beginning.  That is when I became greedy and wanted more and more followers.  My terrific daughter suggested I have a contest and she would provide the prize (since she is a crafter of jewelry).  I did two contests and gained a lot of followers.  But, then I decided that this wasn't the way I wanted to get followers.  I wanted followers who were following me because they wanted to; not because they were trying to win a prize.  I wanted followers like those 27 who commented on the post  about my father's demise.  Those 26 are ALL very dear to me and those comments helped me to want to get back to posting again.

I have learned more and more about some of my followers and I find that I really like most of them.  Ok, I wrote most.  Yes, there was one critic that chose to rain on my parade.  I went into such a funk that I almost didn't write another word.  But, then something amazing happened.  OTHER BLOGGERS STARTED SUPPORTING ME AND IN SO MANY WAYS.  (SOME EVEN TOLD ME IT WAS OK TO WRITE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS IF I WANTED TO!)

So, my major and final reason reasons for blogging are (in no particular order):
George, and Patty, and Clenna, and Julie, and Nicki, and Madeline, and Desiree, and April, and Fran, and Elizabeth, and Gail, and Irene, and Lilly,  and Michele,  and Melynda, and Darlene, and Nick, and Baiba, and Carol, and Nezzy, and Eliza, and Carrie, and Lazaus, and Laila, and Ann, and Deb, and Donna, and Tray, and The Desert Rocks, and Oklahoma Girl, and Clipped Wings. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND COMMENTS DURING MY HIATUS.  

So, hopefully, my  break from blogging is over and maybe I can find something to blog about.  I hope to get you all back....Karen