WARNING, WARNING, WARNING...THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE WEAK STOMACHS PLEASE BE CAUTIONED. CONTENT OF THIS POST MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR SENSIBILITIES.
One night, not too long ago, I had a sore throat and huge dose of NyQuil rendered me zombified the next morning . Barefoot, I schlepped into the kitchen and stepped squarely into a fairly large pile of what, I thought, was regurgitated dog food (Toby overeats once in a while).
I immediately thought to myself, "This just might make it to BLOG status." Thank God there was an empty baggie setting on the table. I quickly stowed the offended foot in the baggie and made my way to the bathroom by the kitchen (while trying not to step squarely on the foot). I adopted a kind of hop-drag type of gate which drew a playful attack from Toby. He tried to wrest the baggie from my foot and I had to fight him to maintain ownership of the protective cover.
Once there, I stuck the disgusting foot into the toilet and graced it with a "swirly." In fact, it got two! Then I sprayed that miserable extremity, profusely, with lysol and deemed it once again acceptable. From there I raced to my computer and started writing.
Once finished with my intro, I went back to the kitchen and stood there contemplating how to best clean up the disgusting pile of glop. Kit, my cat, nonchalantly strolled by. She stopped, stared blankly at me, turned up her nose, flipped her tail in the air, pointed her backside to me, and strolled off.
Ok, so, when I finally had a plan formulated (that did not include leaving it there until it dried) I armed myself with plastic gloves, throw away wipes, Lysol spray, another baggie, and a face mask. Kit came by again, froze in mid-step, and giving me a wide birth dashed through the room; and hid. She knew by experience that seeing me in such garb was a signal that it was unsafe for anyone to be around.
I guess it could have been worse. I could have found the muck on the floor of one of the many carpeted rooms in the house. But the mental gags going on in my head made it hard to clean up no matter where it was.
This is where I apologize to Toby. You see, it wasn't his mess. Upon closer inspection (much to my chagrin) there was fur and guts (yuck) in the gastronomical gift. (Way to go Kit!) Not only did she leave the nasty carcass of a mouse on my front porch for me to find earlier, but she gifted me with the rest of it a day later.
 |
| KIT (bird watching) |
I immediately thought to myself, "This just might make it to BLOG status." Thank God there was an empty baggie setting on the table. I quickly stowed the offended foot in the baggie and made my way to the bathroom by the kitchen (while trying not to step squarely on the foot). I adopted a kind of hop-drag type of gate which drew a playful attack from Toby. He tried to wrest the baggie from my foot and I had to fight him to maintain ownership of the protective cover.
Once there, I stuck the disgusting foot into the toilet and graced it with a "swirly." In fact, it got two! Then I sprayed that miserable extremity, profusely, with lysol and deemed it once again acceptable. From there I raced to my computer and started writing.
Once finished with my intro, I went back to the kitchen and stood there contemplating how to best clean up the disgusting pile of glop. Kit, my cat, nonchalantly strolled by. She stopped, stared blankly at me, turned up her nose, flipped her tail in the air, pointed her backside to me, and strolled off.
Ok, so, when I finally had a plan formulated (that did not include leaving it there until it dried) I armed myself with plastic gloves, throw away wipes, Lysol spray, another baggie, and a face mask. Kit came by again, froze in mid-step, and giving me a wide birth dashed through the room; and hid. She knew by experience that seeing me in such garb was a signal that it was unsafe for anyone to be around.
I guess it could have been worse. I could have found the muck on the floor of one of the many carpeted rooms in the house. But the mental gags going on in my head made it hard to clean up no matter where it was.
This is where I apologize to Toby. You see, it wasn't his mess. Upon closer inspection (much to my chagrin) there was fur and guts (yuck) in the gastronomical gift. (Way to go Kit!) Not only did she leave the nasty carcass of a mouse on my front porch for me to find earlier, but she gifted me with the rest of it a day later.
Aren't you glad I elected to forgo the attachment of a (before and after) picture for this entry!
PREVIEWS OF MONDAYS TO COME:
#222-THE PARTY PLANNER
#223-SLOSHED!
#222-THE PARTY PLANNER
#223-SLOSHED!
kt 11/4/2011
Kit could have at least gift wrapped it. That would have been even more of a surprise!
ReplyDeleteSick! I love animals but I wish they'd keep their gifts to themselves.
ReplyDeleteThe toilet bowl? Only you would think of flushing yuck off your foot in a toilet bowl. I wipe it off and rinse in tub. I don't think my tootsies will ever go into a toilet bowl. There's just something not quite right about that, LOL.
ReplyDeleteWhat a gift - so glad you did not grace us with the photos. Well, that's kinda crappy. ha,ha
ReplyDeletePets are always bringing home gifts for parents in one way or another. I think you should have included a photo of yourself in your "Attack Mode" :)
Poor Toby, I hope you made it up to him. Our Siberian Kiwi brought a squirrel in the house and left us the head, which Brett was going to put under his sister's pillow. Thank God we stopped him or the police woulda had to have been called.
ReplyDeleteI love this, especially how you wrote that it would be good to blog about. Melynda and I always say things are, "blog-worthy." I swear with that motto in mind, I could conquer the world LOL!
ReplyDeleteEwwwwwww, thank you soooo much for no before and afters! Heeehehehe!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm laughin' so hard here I'm cryin'.
God bless ya and have a wonderfully 'prize free' day!!!!
Yes, I'm glad you decided on a different picture. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWow I'm so glad I'm done with dinner. Yuck!! I cringe at the though of stepping on a rat! Oh the squishing!!
ReplyDeleteWell,that will certainly wake one from a zombie like state. LOL When I had cats they were always leaving me "gifts". Yuck! Have a wonderful day!!
ReplyDelete~~blessed be...
Your furry friends are hilarious haha! I was in tears laughing the moment you mentioned about Toby's regurgitated food LOL I don't worry about my pup vomiting coz he eats them all up so they get back in his tummy (yucky!!! That's why I'm always on the watch when I see him gagging!)... But it turns out it was Kit's mess? Thanks for not including photos LOL
ReplyDeleteGross - gag - choke - did I say, gross!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a story - I was at my daughter's house. I was upstairs and she was at the bottom of the steps when I heard a loud "Oh My God"! I ran to the steps and looking down at her, I saw her staring at some little pile of something on the floor. I yelled "What?" She repeated "Oh My God." It really didn't look like anything that needed that type of expression so I had to explore further. I ran down the steps and knelt down so I was within inches of the pile. I jerked upright and exclaimed "Oh My God". My daugher said "exactly" (I think we're a family of few words)
ReplyDeleteIt was a pile of half the intestines of a mouse! (All together now, Oh My God)