#215 - MY FATHER, MY FRIEND, MY HERO

 Dear friends,


My father went to be with our Lord Jesus Christ the morning of Wednesday, October 26th. 

I mainly want to thank you for your support during the last few months as I traveled this part of his journey with him.    I kept him at home, on hospice, right up until his last minutes.  

Please bare with me for a while longer as I do not know when I will be back to blogging.  I have cherished each and every comment received.  Some days they were the only thing getting me through the day.  Even though I chose this route it was more difficult that I had anticipated.

My plan is to take a few months to wind down and explore the changes that will have to take place in my life.  A great deal of this time will be spent with my daughter in Connecticut as I have had to put off visiting with her in order to attend to my father's needs.

Take care, TRY HARD TO MISS ME, and I will write to you again soon, I'm sure.

kt   

#199 - A COMMENT FROM THE FLOOR OF THE HOUSE!

Almost exactly a year ago my father fell, butt first, into the bathtub while pulling up his underwear.  This prompted my first story which I put in installments on my Face Book page.  For my family, I described the antics I went through trying to design and install a bar to put across the tub to keep this from happening again.  That particular story became blog posts number 12, 13, 14, and 15.  Well the bar prevented another dive into the bathtub, but... ... ...

Today, July 4, 2011, only a few days away from the anniversary of this event (and my first post on blogger... Yes, this is the anniversary month of my debut on blogger) my dad fell in the bathroom again, but NOT INTO THE BATHTUB.


Now, I know what you are thinking, "Karen, shame on you!  This is not a funny subject.  He could have been seriously hurt."  Well, yes I guess that is true but hang on, hear me out, and let me finish the story.


Around 7 AM I heard, "Oh...Oh...Oh....groan...Oh...Oh...groan...   ...  ...   "


Quickly jumping out of bed I rushed to the bathroom to find him on his knees in front of the comode, with his pants down.  It was not a pretty picture but with my concern for my dad this did not register in my brain, until later.

He was holding onto the edge of the sink counter and trying to get up.  Despite my insistence he remain still he kept trying to pull himself up.  It was definitely  impossible for him to achieve this, but he wouldn't listen.  I tried to convenience him to let me help him lay down on his side but he said he couldn't (his feet were straddling the toilet on the floor).  I ran to the phone (I swear I am going to put telephones in both of the bathrooms) and called 911.  While imparting the information I heard a thump.  Back to the bathroom I raced to find him laying on his left side in front of the sink.  I grabbed a pillow for his head just as a city police officer appeared at the front door.

When the paramedics arrived they asked him a few questions, like they do, to determine the mental status of their victim.  What is your name was the first question and the second question questions was, "Do you know where you are?"  Dad almost did a double take, gazed up at them over his right shoulder, (with an incredulous expression on his face) and said, "Well, of course. (pregnant pause) I'm on the floor! "  (you could tell by the tone of his voice YOU IDIOTS was implied in the pregnant pause).  That elicited a laugh from everyone.

They checked him out, found a few scrapes and bruises, but nothing more, then got him up.  

See, the tough old bird is ok, and delivered a great one liner in the mist of the possibly serious situation.

SEE YOU NEXT MONDAY... ... ... for  SHOOTS AND LADDERS... kt 7/4/2011  

#158-THE NEWSPAPER HEADLINE READ: SHE FEEDS HER DAD KIBBLES!

I have been caring for my 100 year old dad since he fell and severely shattered his shoulder about 4 years ago.  It has been interesting, frustrating and sometimes funny.

There are a number of skills that one develops when working with the elderly.  I am going to only mention four today.

1.  One needs to talk slower.
     Since my dad is very hard of hearing, this skill is important.  I have ADHD I generally don't do anything slow, and it has been hard for me to remember to  t  a  l  k    s  l  o  o  o  o  w.   He won't ask me what I said or say that he didn't understand me he will just shake his head or say ok.  Just to test this I once said to him, "Dad, the President is here to see you."  He answered, "Ok, I'v got to pee."

2.  One needs to talk louder.
     Well, I never had a problem here.  In fact I have always talked too loud.  Just ask any member of my family, any friend, any student I have ever had, or several employers.  My voice can be heard at the back of any theater or auditorium.  I guess I missed my calling.  Should have been a stage actor.

3.  One needs to be Patient.
    Dad does things at a snail's pace (Kind of like Tim Conway did.  Watch this through to the end and you will see Conway's famous old man's walk).



Because of dad's slow walk,  I have to travel at a snails pace when walking with him.  I already shared about my ADHD and I don't do slow.  Well, at least, I didn't do slow until I started working with Dad. After almost running over him a few times I disciplined myself through mental imaging.  I imagined a newspaper article elaborating about an old man's injuries inflicted by a thoughtless daughter running over him while escorting him down a ramp to the car.  It is amazing what picturing something in one's head can do.


4.  One needs to NOT over react.
     This brings me to today's story.

Last week I was fixing Dad's dinner.  I had it all on the table and ready to go when he took his seat.  Usually I put Toby out at this time so he won't learn to beg at the table.  I picked up Toby's bowl of kibbles and was starting to take the bowl, and Toby, out back.  Suddenly, Dad asked me where his drink was.

I set the bowl down on the table and went to get Dad's drink.  That is when I heard this loud crunching sound.  I looked round to see what Toby was doing (automatically thinking he had gotten into something).  Toby was just sitting there staring at me and then looking at Dad (in an accusatory manner).  I turned and looked at Dad and he was sitting there with a fist full of Toby's kibbles, munching away.

Calmly I put the glass of juice on the table, and slowly took Dad's hand in mine before he could pop any more kibbles into his mouth.  I (again, calmly) said, "Ahhh, Dad, let me have that, it's dog food."  He handed what was left in his hand to me (save one) said, "Oh," and popped one last kibble into his mouth.

After I put Toby out I ran (yes ran) to my computer and typed up some notes.  I was laughing so hard I could barely type.  Is it awful to laugh at a 100 year old man?   Nope!  My dad is the one who taught me to laugh hard and often.

Well, I have to go now as Toby just brought me a pair of reading glasses minus one ear piece (really).

When I went to look for the other half I found a trail of several tissues (which means that he can now jump up onto my bed to reach my Kleenex box....oh bother), one shoe, a pencil, a sock, and the earpiece to my glasses...all leading from my computer room to his play room.  Between Toby and my dad I had better get this PATIENCE skill down well or I could loose what is left of my mind!
kt 2/2011

#130-WE'RE NOT STOPPING, PERIOD!

When I read "OFF THE BEATEN TRACK 1 and  2 (Jan 22 ans 23) by Deseree, I remembered that I have always had a thing for ruins.  (And by the way if you want a fantastic virtual tour of everything beautiful and wonderful in South Africa then visit her site driftwoodramblings.blogspot.com.)

From my 5th grade year on my parents (with me in tow) would make a trip from California to Missouri (to visit family) every August. On the way we would always pass a road to ancient Indian cliff dwellings. Every year I would beg my father to stop and look at the ruins. At that time people could actually enter the ruins. He would always say NO to ALL nonessential stops.

Kinda looks like us, but Mom was definitely NOT smiling!

You see, my father looked upon this trip as a personal challenge.  Each year he tried to get there in less time (usually driving straight though).  That meant getting up at an awful hour so we could get through the worst part of the desert at night.  He also did not believe in speeding (it was against the law and he is a rule follower as well as a rule maker).  So he made the rule...We will only stop to get gas!  And while we are getting gas everyone  WILL eat and use the restroom.

Unfortunately I was like a little kitten (...garbage in...garbage out).  If I ate or drank anything I would have to go in the near future.  Only by the time the near future got there we were miles beyond the gas station!

Years later, when I was relocating myself and my children to from Ca. to Mo. I was determined to stop and finally get to see those ruins.  I turned onto the road.  Drove for about 20 miles and came to a large chain link fence WITH AN EVEN LARGER LOCK.  Boy was I mad at my dad.  A tremendous opportunity lost forever.  So you can see the magnitude of my loss I looked the place up on the internet.

 http://www.faculty.de.gcsu.edu/%7Edvess/ids/amtours/anawciv.htm

“The Anasazi (Hisatsinom) were likely the descendants of an Archaic Desert culture in the southwest from 6,000 B.C.E. known as the Basketmaker I culture, or from the Mogollon. They first appeared in the Four Corners region (the intersection of New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, and Colorado) around the time of the historic Christ. The ruins of the Anasazi (Hisatsinom) culture are the best-preserved ruins in North America. The word "Anasazi" is a later Navajo word which means "ancient people who are not us" or "ancient enemies." The Hopi consider themselves to be descendants of the Anasazi (Hisatsinom), and prefer that their ancestors be called the Hisatsinom, which means "people of long ago." The Anasazi (Hisatsinom) did not build cliff dwellings for the first 1,000 years of their history, but rather lived in open communities or in caves. They lived near fields where they grew corn, squash, and beans. They also gathered nuts and other wild foods and hunted game. Given the very open nature of their lifestyle, archaeologists argue that the Anasazi (Hisatsinom) had few enemies in their early history.”

 

“Mesa Verde contains some of the best-preserved cliff dwellings in the southwest. This is Cliff Palace, which is the largest cliff dwelling in North America. It has 217 rooms and twenty-three kivas, and probably had a population of 200-250 people. The kivas here were sunk into the ground, and one entered them by climbing down a ladder.”

 “Other large dwellings include Spruce Tree House which has 144 rooms and eight kivas. There are over 600 cliff dwellings in Mesa Verde and, although there are other large villages such as this in Mesa Verde, 75 percent contain only one to five rooms. Balcony House is another famous dwelling in Mesa Verde, and is located high on the cliffs 600 feet above the canyon floor. Through tree-ring dating, its first timbers have been dated to 1190 C.E., and its latest timbers to 1290. The Anasazi (Hisatsinom) abandoned most cliff dwellings in Mesa Verde around 1270 C.E., and Balcony House was among the last places to be abandoned. “

All of the above came from the website (I certainly didn’t get to take these lovely pictures myself. THANKS DAD!)

kt 2/02/2011

#124-THE CENTURION (Totally Tubular Toby on hold 1 more week)

Dad had just put a
french fry in his mouth.

A terrific man, a wonderful father, and he's MY 100 year old dad!


This is a picture taken at our Local McDonalds where my father INSISTS on having lunch EVERY DAY! (for the past 10 years).  This was taken Feb. 8th 2010 on his 99th birthday.  He has many fans there and when he enters they greet him like he just walked into "Cheers."

Dad retired to the midwest in 1978 (with my mom, who passed away about 5 years ago).  He was not the type to retire and do nothing so, he put in for substituting.  When they found out that he was the only teacher in the state of Missouri certified in both Physics and Chemistry they hired him to replace a teacher that was leaving.  Dad had no interest in a permanent teaching job but, he agreed to the position until they found someone else.  He taught for a year.

Then he was asked to work for a local company as a Chemist.  He agreed only on his terms.  Again he had no desire to work full time.  It ended up being full time for a while.
Just to let you know the kind of man he is, when they came to him and asked him to retire (a down turn in sales) he told them that HE was the one who would decide when to quit and they left him alone.  About 6 months later he retired, AGAIN.

Although involved before, he then threw himself into the activities of the church he was attending.  He served in several positions and became well known as the guy who played the innkeeper in the annual living Nativity scene.  No one signed up for that position because everyone knew it was Bill's part (that's what they call him here).

At the age of 89 I had to call his grandson, "Gene, over to the house AND GET YOUR GRANDFATHER OFF THE ROOF! " Dad was up there washing the gutters out with a water hose.  When scolded about the dangers of him being up there he simply laughed and said,  "Karen, it's not the roof that's dangerous, it's the damned ladder!"

At the age of 90 he started substituting again only to quit because my mother became ill.  Her Altzheimers became severe and he had to lock himself in the house with her for three years.  He refused to put her in a nursing home and took care of her 24/7/365.  (THIS IS THE KIND OF MAN MY FATHER IS!) I moved home and helped out as often as I could but I had a full time teaching job 1 hour away.

This sacrifice cost him his health.  Up until this time he was like a healthy 50 year old.  He developed diabetes and high blood pressure.  Shortly after mother died he took a tumble in his kitchen and shattered his right shoulder.  Completely broke the ball off and crushed the cup.  Did that keep him down?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  He was in a nursing home for 3 months (driving us crazy insisting on lunch from McDonalds).  I could see him going down hill so I retired in the middle of the year and took him out AMA.  And he is still here today.

Dad still retains his sense of humor on a day to day basis.  He is loved and admired by all who know him.  All of my memories of Dad have a great deal of laughter echoing around them.

My dad is a man of honor and integrity.  He is a rule follower extraordinaire.  For example when walking to a local football game I started to cut across the grass.  He wouldn't follow.  It was against the rules even though not posted.  If the speed limit was 45 he would go 45 not 46 (which always irritated Mom and I).  But, he never lectured or criticized us, just led by example. 


During WWII my dad tried to sign up.  (Several of his basketball seniors died in the Arizona) He was turned down because he had a cracked vertebrae.  Did that stop him (I am sure you know the answer), ABSOLUTELY NOT.  He quit his education job and relocated his family to a job he took at the Atlas Powder Company.  If he couldn't fight then he could at least use his skills as a chemist to make bombs.  

He is the most honest man I know and never even cheated on his taxes.  I have never know him to lie, cuss, or talk against another human being.  


He never spanked me, never yelled.  All he had to do is look at me and that was it.  He was the same way with his students, players and faculty.  Dad had this way of expecting the best from everyone and always getting it.  Somehow, no one wanted to disappoint Mr. Taylor.(while in secondary school, I did  suffer a little ego problem by being his daughter.  I had guy "friends" and but no boyfriends.  Later I found out that all the "guys" had self imposed this "hands off" policy when it came to me).OK, enough is enough?  But I am just getting started. So I will try to shorten my comments.   

• As a grade school student in he was up before dawn to collect, wrap, and deliver newspapers.  After delivering the papers he would go to the local grocery and sweep out the store for food to bring home to his large family.  Then he would go to school where he received excellent grades.
• He was a home town football hero in High School and continued to be lauded for his feats at Missouri Valley College.  He was inducted into their Hall of Fame.
• Dad still holds records at his high-school and college for various sprints etc.  As a coach he was known for running backwards and taunting team members to try to catch him   (THEY NEVER DID).
• When teaching PE at he would challenge any takers to a foot race.  If they won he promised to give them an automatic A (THEY NEVER DID).
• Dad is still celebrated by his home town for the football team he coached in 1947 which had an undefeated and UN-SCORED upon season.
• The middle school (was a PE teacher, teacher, V.P. and Principal) was his "BABY for 23 years."  He dedicated himself to the facility, the teachers, and especially the students.  He was available to all 24/7 in any capacity needed. Mother often felt like a widow during the school term.
• He never missed a school activity and he retired one year early, with pay, because of all of the stored up sick leave.
• He took classes every summer and finally ran out of classes to take.  He refused to get his Doctorate because he would have to take time off from his beloved school.  He said,  "I don't need a Dr. in front of my name and I don't need the additional money that bad, either!"

I could go on like this for pages and pages.  Suffice it to say...THEY DON'T MAKE THEM LIKE HIM ANYMORE.

#12-15- A BATHTUB ADVENTURE

This was originally posted in 4 parts back in August under AS A RESULT OF DAD'S BATHTUB ADVENTURE (# 12-15). I had originally posted it in July with daily short quips on my face book (as presented here).  That is when my daughter, Patty, decided that I needed to start a blog. AND HERE I AM! 

My father is 99 and he had an accident last week. It seems that he fell butt first into the tub while trying to pull his pants up. He wasn’t hurt, but I had to call 911 for help getting him out of the bathtub. So, I have been trying to design a way to put a removable handrail across the opening to the tub.

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 1: The first problem I encountered was, "How am I going to fasten the end of the pole to the walls?" The guy at the lumber yard sold me 2 wide L brackets. Didn't take this lady long to realize that if I screwed the brackets to the wall and the pole to the brackets; then I would have to crawl over or under to take a bath. NOPE that's a deal breaker.

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 2: Well, I cut the wood pieces yesterday and only dropped the circular saw once (a personal best for me), Then I jigged U slots in the top of each board. Is till have all my fingers so will consider it a success. Next, I painted the side of each board and the railing. By this time it was afternoon and sweat was dripping off my nose onto the boards. Time to quit!

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 3: Ok, I now have both sides of the boards and the bottom of the railing painted. Only knocked over the paint can once and dropped the paintbrush twice. In typical Karen style it would be easier to describe where I didn’t get paint on myself; lets just say I now have a basecoat most everywhere! Once I sand the ants off tomorrow, I should be able to put the finish coat on.

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 4:   Ran into a snag today…My stud finder isn’t working…no surprise to me….mine hasn’t been working for years!

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 5:  I put the final coat of spray paint on the boards and rail

(only spraying the cat, slightly). And I’ll be right back right after an announcement from our sponsors……CpC (cats protecting cats).  Buy this special outfit to protect your cat from

unnecessary spray painting accidents….$40.00 all profits go to the cats in West Africa.

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 6:   I would start off with CUSS words but I don’t want to offend anyone (so I am saying them out loud as I type). I finally got the stud finder to work (need new batteries – don’t we all). I searched for 20 minutes only to find that nearby studs were 6 inches away from where I needed to anchor the boards. BACK TO THE (MacGyver) DRAWING BOARD!

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 7: Ok, I redesigned the rail brackets. This required using the circular saw and jigsaw again (which, with me, is an accident waiting to happen). However, both cuts went off without a hitch. It was when I had to use the sander that things got interesting. Apparently, I had left the sander on the last time I used it and just pulled the plug. So when I plugged it into a different outlet it jumped off the sawhorse shelf and raced across the garage floor…..toward the cat (who was lounging on the cement floor watching the "Karen" show)! I don’t know how she did it, but somehow she sprung off the floor, spun around in mid air and almost left skid marks leaving the area. I stood there watching the CATastrophe unfold. I had started to laugh when the sander came to the end of its tether, jerked and started back in my direction. Oh, S#@%! After coaxing my eyebrows down off the ceiling I managed to pull the plug on the errant sander. The cat is nowhere to be found.

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 8:  Yeah!  I found the studs, drilled holes in the NEW boards (and the saw horses holding them).  By the way, did you know that if you put a board on a cement floor to drill it and, WELL....... accidentally drill through the board to the cement and, WELL...... the drill bit gets so hot it melts?  Just thought I'd mention this just in case someone (not me) might do that.

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 9 : I drilled holes (and only 3 too many) in the walls at each end of the tub where the studs are, (I love that word) and screwed the boards to the walls (only loosing 1 screw down the drain).  Now, to test my invention I only have to slip the rail into the U slots.  

BLOW-BY-BLOW day 10 (the finale):  Once again an old adage bears true.  "Necessity is the mother of invention. " We now have a sturdy, fully functioning (removable) handrail across the tub opening.  Am I great or what!  Of course, the fact that it doesn't look like a professional job does not spoil the victory!!!!!

WAIT

FOR

IT

FINALLY FINISHED!

THIS IS A TRUE STORY, EXCEPT FOR THE PICTURE OF COURSE.

kt2010