#202 - ALL FIRED UP!

When I was a Sophomore at Santa Monica City College I took several speech classes.   Noooooo, way you say!  This gal is way too shy!  Sure, right!  Well, this story is about my final speech in that class.

I wanted to get an "A" since I was thinking about becoming a member of Toastmasters International.  All of my other speeches received fantastic reviews and I was working on straight "A's."  To me this had to be a speech that EVERYONE would remember, especially the instructor (who could be my Toastmasters' sponsor, if I finished well).

I researched feverishly on my topic which was drawn from a box.  At first I wasn't too enthused because it the topic I drew was, "The Dangers of House Fires."  However, after reading a gazillion articles a plan began to form in my mind.

An outline of the required techniques was made and under each one notes were sketched.  I began to get excited and could see the way it was going to go.  My information was well documented, phrased in interesting and unique ways, and I had come up with a mind staggering (required) demonstration/finale.

On the day of the final, I admit, l I was a little nervous.  With my notes memorized in my head I stepped to the podium and set up my props, stage right, on a table.  One of these props was a carefully crafted paper and cardboard house with shingles, a chimney, windows, door and the typical type of siding drawn in color on the model.

My voice was well modulated, my tempo was up beat and crisp, I demonstrated an excitement about the information I was imparting and put across the seriousness of the topic.  I HAD THEM EATING OUT OF MY HANDS.  I was cooking on all burners.  I was firing on all cylinders.  I was going like a house afire.  It is then that I launched into my final comment and the ending that would grab them all.

As I said, "Don't let this happen to you," I stuck a match and touched it to the house.  Well, here is where it gets interesting.  I had worried about the house not catching fire, or only partially burning so (remember I was only a Sophomore in college and REALLY STUPID!)  therefore I had soaked the paper house with lighter fluid....................  WOOSH!  up it went.  If the front row had been any closer their eyebrows would have been part of my speech.  Everyone jumped up, the fire alarm went off, and I looked on stunned at the conflagration melting the top of the table.  The instructor rushed up with a fire extinguisher and became a participant in my memorable demonstration.

Mann, oh mann, it went up in a mini explosion of flame in less than 5 seconds.  WHAT A SIGHT!

I GOT AN "A." (and a lecture from the Dean).


POST SCRIPT:  I have had several blog worthy experiences with fire.  See the following:
          #32 = the 9th Street Fire Fiend,  http://outofmymindbykt.blogspot.com/2011/03/164-fiday-flashbacks-9th-street-fire.html

          #20 = Recipe for Disaster,  http://outofmymindbykt.blogspot.com/2010/08/20-recipe-for-disaster.html

          #90 = From the Frying Pan to the Fire, http://outofmymindbykt.blogspot.com/2011/01/90-from-fring-pan-into-fire.html

I also have one more coming up as soon as I get around to writing it.  What can I say....I'm a slow learner and I have already told you that have ADHD (and am a tad nuts).  By the way.  I never joined toastmasters.  I fell in love instead... ... ...

                             

             SEE YOU NEXT MONDAY FOR.....#203-"BOO!, BUG-A-BOO, TOBY, AND A KITTY TOO!"
       BE SURE TO WRITE THE 8/29 ON YOU CALENDAR FOR MY FAVORITE STORY.

kt 7/3/11

#90-FROM THE FRING PAN INTO THE FIRE

From the Frying Pan Into the Fire….

NO, MY FRYING PAN WAS THE FIRE!

         

         In in blog #29 I told you about my ADHD and the roll it plays in my goofy life.  So, my children were (and still are) used to my “weirdness” and mostly took (and still take) it in stride.  At one time in my life I used to burn up at least one frying pan a month.  


One day, while I was cooking dinner the phone rang. 

         
          My young daughter (about 5^th grade) answered it and, matter of fact type voice said, “Mother can’t come to the phone right now.  She's busy burning dinner.”

          She listened for a minute and then said, “Hey, Mom, come talk to Carol.  I’ll burn dinner for you.”

          When I put the receiver to my ear all I could hear was hysterical laughter coming from my best friend, Carol.


(FYI: another fire related blog is #32 and several future blogs.   :) 

 kt 2011

#32-THE 9TH STREET FIRE FIEND

Well, it wasn't quite this bad!

I burned leaves yesterday and I am proud to say, “NOTHING HAPPENED!”  Phew!  No drama!  (Wait a minute, RATS!  That means nothing for my blog!  Bummer!)  My projects usually produce some kind of fiasco.  Then I remembered I definitely cannot say that about what happened a couple of years ago when a fire got away from me.

Let me back up and explain a few things.  I live in a small, rural town, and in the fall we rake our leaves into piles (or into the gutter, as I did today) and burn them.  Plus, my back yard is almost the size of a football field.  Add to that the fact that the property boundaries on three sides are filled with stately elms and oaks.  Of course, being a small town, less stately weed and grass also fills up the property line.

This incident happened, oh, let's say the fall of 06:  I raked the leaves from the “STATELY" litter droppers into one gigantic pile.  The diameter of which was about 10 feet.  I was so clever!  I raked leaves onto a tarp until it was overflowing, then drug the tarp to the burn spot in the middle of this field.  I did this several times.  When finished I covered this potential fire storm (key words) with the tarps to keep the offending leaves from blowing back to their assigned spot or from getting caught in a rain (which would render them to mush).

One cold, overcast, day I stuck my finger in my mouth, pulled it out, held it up in the air and deemed it a good day to burn.  I readied my water hose (which I later found did not reach that far), my rake, and a broom.  I removed the tarps and deftly triggered my fire starter “thingy” and ignited the southern edge of the leaf pile.  Thinking I should start a backfire type burn, I went to the northern end and did the same thing.  However, by that time I had a humongous conflagration and realized I had made a mistake (Duh…it’s me I am talking about).

Even though it seemed a good idea, at the time, to have one large fire to monitor; I failed to realize that several smaller fires, set one at a time, would have been better.  To my alarm the circumference of the fire seemed to grow quickly.  No, not seemed….DID!  The thatch under the grass was burning and the fire was rapidly heading for the north, east, and west property lines and those “STATELY” trees (not to mention my neighbor’s back yards and their “STUFF.”  Oh, and my house to the south). 

I ran around like a mental patient (which I was quickly becoming) trying to beat out the spreading fire.  It didn’t take me long to realize that I wasn’t going to be able to contain it.  I ran to my neighbor’s house to the east (the one least likely to think me an idiot….and call me one to boot).  Being a veteran of grass fires, she ran out with a broom and grabbed an old throw rug off the fence as we sprinted to my back yard.  Between the two of us we circled the perimeter of the fire and BEAT back the flames.  Before long there was no new thatch to feed the fire and it stopped.  In the time it took us to contain the spread, the leaves had been consumed.

Both of us had a politically incorrect appearance because we looked like the white performers who used 'face black' to do their stick.  The neighbor’s husband and son came home and had a great deal of comments to make, to each other, to me, and to his wife (she was quite nice about it saying,"It could happen to anyone, sweetie").  The neighbors to the west got their two cents in too.  In fact I had several, so called, friends who enjoyed making sport of the 9^th street "fire fiend" (Mannnn,  am I racking up nick names or what?   Fire Fiend,  Betty Boop, and Moon Mama ....).

The reminder of this fiasco was evident for quite a while.  One had to only to look at the blackened back yard to know just what had happened.  And, thank God, this was before I had my cat, so she wasn’t endangered, this time.

kt 11/4/2010

#32 - The 9th Street Fire Fiend)

I burned leaves yesterday and I am proud to say, “NOTHING HAPPENED!”  Phew!  No drama!  (Wait a minute, RATS!  That means nothing for my blog!  Bummer!)  My projects usually produce some kind of fiasco.  Then I remembered I definitely cannot say that about what happened a couple of years ago when a fire got away from me.

Let me back up and explain a few things.  I live in a small town, and in the fall we rake our leaves into piles or into the gutter (as I did today)  and burn them.  Plus, my back yard is almost the size of a football field.  Add to that the fact that the property boundaries on three sides are filled with stately elms and oaks.  Of course, being a small town, less stately weed and grass also fills up the property line.

This incident happened, oh, let's say the fall of 06:  I raked the leaves from the “STATELY” litter droppers into one gigantic pile.  The diameter of which was about 10 feet.  I was so clever!  I raked leaves onto a tarp until it was overflowing, then drug the tarp to the burn spot in the middle of this field.  I did this several times.  When finished I covered this potential fire storm (key words) with the tarps to keep the offending leaves from blowing back to their assigned spot or from getting caught in a rain (which would render them to mush).

One cold, overcast, day I stuck my finger in my mouth, held it up in the air and deemed it a good day to burn.  I readied my water hose (which I later found did not reach that far), my rake, and a broom.  I removed the tarps and deftly triggered my fire starter “thingy” and ignited the southern edge of the leaf pile.  Thinking I should start a backfire type burn, I went to the northern end and did the same thing.  However, by that time I had a humongous conflagration and realized I had made a mistake  (Duh! It;s me I'm talking about).

Even though it seemed a good idea, at the time, to have one large fire to monitor; I failed to realize that several smaller fires, set one at a time, would have been better.  To my alarm the circumference of the fire seemed to grow quickly.  No, not seemed….DID!  The thatch under the grass was burning and the fire was rapidly heading for the north, east, and west property lines and those “STATELY” trees (not to mention my neighbor’s back yards and their “STUFF” Oh, and my house to the south). 

I ran around like a mental patient (which I was quickly becoming) trying to beat out the spreading fire.  It didn’t take me long to realize that I wasn’t going to be able to contain it.  I ran to my neighbor’s house to the east (the one least likely to think me an idiot….and call me one to boot).  Being a veteran of grass fires, she ran out with a broom and grabbed an old throw rug off the fence as we sprinted to my back yard.  Between the two of us we circled the perimeter of the fire and BEAT back the flames.  Before long there was no new thatch to feed the fire and it stopped.  In the time it took us to contain the spread, the leaves had been consumed.

Both of us had a politically incorrect appearance because we looked like the white performers who used face black to do their stick.  The neighbor’s husband and son came home and had a great deal of comments to make, to each other, to me, and to his wife (she was quite nice about it saying,"It could happen to anyone").  The neighbors to the west got their two cents in too.  In fact I had several, so called, friends who enjoyed making sport of the 9^th street "fire fiend" (Mannnn,  am I racking up nick names or what?  Fire Fiend,  Betty Boop, , and Moon Mama ....oh, forgot, I haven't posted that one yet).

The reminder of this fiasco was evident for quite a while.  One had to only to look at the blackened back yard to know just what had happened.  And, thank God, this was before I had my cat, so she wasn’t endangered, this time.

kt2010

# 29 SERIOUSLY SPEAKING

Occasionally I get serious, and this is one of those times.  Please stay with me.  I will go back to my goofy self the next time.  I promise!

According to various sources, 4.7 percent of American adults are estimated to live with ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).  I have a feeling that the percentage is much higher than this, since ADHD is highly under diagnosed.  Most of ADHD individuals are males.  However, I happen to be one of the lucky females to experience this disorder first hand.

As an infant I was very hyper. Once I found out I could get up and move all hell broke loose (according to my parents).  At six months old I could get out of my crib, crawl to the front room, grab cigarette butts from the ashtray and scramble under my parents bed to EAT them.

There was no keeping me in. My parents tried closing the door but I would just push something up to the wall, reach over, and open it anyway.  No fence or barrier could keep me put.  Phrases like, “Where’s Karen?” or “Has anyone seen Karen?” were frequently heard through out the house, the yard, and the local supermarket.

Everything I did was at a dead run.  My parents even had to move from a two story  to a one story home because I would come flying out of my room and fall down a full flight of stairs EVERY DAY.  I received several concussions before the move.

I suffered through school with phrases like,  “You just aren’t trying hard enough.”  “If you would sit still and pay attention you would… …” “Stop your daydreaming”, or “You aren’t living up to your potential!“  I struggled with math and spelling. The only thing was I ALWAYS gave EVERYTHING my best effort and I was TRYING to pay attention.

Adults with ADHD tend to develop coping mechanisms to compensate for some or all of their impairments.   I took copious notes, wrote lists, talked out loud to myself, praised myself when I did good, as well as scolded myself when I didn’t.

At age 40 I had yet attributed some of my behaviors to ADHD.  To me it was normal to have several thoughts, ideas, songs, stories, plans, memories, etc. playing simultaneously in my head.  I heard someone describe it like constantly switching the channels on a TV. That is so true.  I had no control over so many of my thoughts and actions.  I was VERY impulsive (dor to dor salesman loved me).

If I was doing something and my attention was drawn elsewhere I would completely forget what I was doing in the first place.  For example, I would start with cooking dinner.  Then the phone would ring.  I would finish the phone call and sit down to watch television.  I would watch television until the smoke triggered the fire alarm.  This was almost a daily event in my life.

It was so bad that I had to put a list by the door to help me remember every day things (turn off the iron, the gas, the stove etc). I had to force myself to stop each time I left the house and touch each item on the list so I wouldn’t forget.  It had to become an obsession.  I had to rubber band important medicine to my deodorant so I wouldn’t forget it (for some reason I always remembered my deodorant).

When electronic planners came out I scrimped for two months so I could buy one.  I was able to set it to remind me.  It was a lifesaver until I lost it and had to buy another one (another 2 months of saving).

I won’t go into the long boring story of how I realized that I had ADHD. But, with one lousy little pill and it ALL went away.  I couldn’t believe it I could think.  I didn’t lay awake nights with my mind spinning.  I could safely cook diner without burning up a skillet every week.  My life changed.

A lot of people do not believe that there is such a disorder.  I have come up against many professionals and private individuals who truly believe: “They just aren’t trying hard enough.”  “If they would sit still and pay attention they would…” “They’re spoiled!” 

           Oh, the emotional damage these people do to those who have this disorder.  Don’t be one of those people, PLEASE.

          The sound you just heard was me jumping off my soap box and into one of my usual messy situations, one of which I will post next Monday.  Thanks for staying to the end.  Also, the medication didn't solve all the issues, hence the crazy situations I get myself into.

kt 2010

#20 "RECIPE FOR DISASTER"

Mannnn, what a TWIT!

INGREDIENTS:

1 accident-prone disaster designer

1 nightgown on disaster designer

1 - 3 matches

1 small (tattered) American Flag in need of disposal




TIME:  approximately 60 seconds

PROCEDURE:

1.  Take all ingredients out the back door because it is early and you are still in your nightgown.

2.  Strike the match, let wind blow it out.  Strike another 2 matches at the same time.

3.  Hold the matches to lowest corner of the flag (that is dangling from your fingertips).

4.  Hold the burning flag out in front of you.

5.  Realize that eventually the fire will burn your hand.

6.  Look around for options (as to where you can lay the flag).

7.  Drop your right arm (the one extending the burning flag) a little bit as you look around.

8.  Feel heat on your leg.

9.  Look down to see your nightgown on fire (just below the knee).

10.  Drop the burning flag.

11.  Brush the flames (on the gown) out with your hand.

12.  Discover the burned flag remnants are made of something that sticks to your fingers (and leg).

13.  Scrape the goop off your burning fingers with a fingernail on your left hand.

14.  Transfer molten flag remnant to fingernail of left hand.

15.  Watch fingernail melt as goop cools.

16.  Shake you head at your stupidity as you enter the house.

17.  Put burn salve on the small round burn in your leg and on two burned fingers of your right hand.

19.  Watch the white blister forming on the end of your ring finger.

20.  Cut the end of the melted fingernail on your left hand.

21.  Sit down in your recliner and ponder the burned hole in your favorite nightgown.
22.  Give thanks to God that your nightgown was flame RESISTANT.
23.  Smile to yourself as you realize that this fiasco is perfect fodder for your next blog.


(100% TRUE)


kt 2010 (shortly after the 4th of July)