CHRISTMAS STORIES REVISITED

Hello everyone!  I am posting this from my daughter's home in Connecticut.  This will be the first Christmas I have been able to spend with her and her family in five years.  I have been here since November 17th and I am thoroughly enjoying the grand-kids.  I posted these stories last December and will probably make them an annual post.

 

THE LAST SANTA 

 

Before you get started I want you to know in the first story there are “spoilers” for those of you who may still BELIEVE.  So don’t read any further.

 

I was in the second grade the fall of 1949, and I had a horrible revelation foisted on me by a mean classmate at school.  My parents found themselves with an hysterical child, ranting on and on about a stupid boy and his stupid ideas.

I was VERY angry because he had snidely said,” Only BABIES believe in Santa Clause."  This boy was a “know it all jerk” and made my life miserable for the entire day. 

I was extremely upset, but what I did not realize at the time was that Mom and Dad were devastated.  I was too young to be robbed of this beautiful concept.   They weren’t ready to let their baby grow up.  By the end of the day they had hatched a plan to thwart this young man’s intentions.

The first was to have a conversation with the boy and his father.  Since my father was the superintendent of that school district, this was a sobering event for the bully and his dad.  I was never bothered again.

The second strategy was what ended up being the most memorial event of my young life.  They set out to PROVE that Santa did indeed exist! 

Mom and Dad told me this story several times over the years and now I am sharing it with you.

On Christmas Eve it was snowing and we went about our usual tasks of setting out milk and cookies after figuring out the most likely place for Santa to get into our second floor apartment.  It was finally decided that he would probably come in through my bedroom window because it overlooked the roof of the grocery store next door.  Cookies and milk was set on my nightstand and the window was unlocked so Santa could easily gain entrance. 

I will never forget what my eyes were awakened to the next morning.  It was cold in my room because my window was slightly ajar.  There was snow accumulated on my windowsill and footprints made of snow just below the window on my rug.  The footprints led off into the front room and were slowly melting from the warmth.

I bounded from my bed and bumped into my parents who were standing there pointing out the window with amazed looks on their faces.  I turned and looked out the window and THERE on the rooftop of Schindler's Grocery Store were the long straight marks of Santa’s sleigh and tiny reindeer tracks. 

Just outside and below my window was a large round place smoothed out where Santa had obviously set his large sack of presents.  I WAS ECSTATIC!  It was the best Christmas ever and turned out to be my last because other kids were determined to make this BABY grow up on their timetable not my parent’s.

What I didn’t hear that morning was my mother gasp as she placed her hand over her mouth.  What I didn’t see was that the sleigh tracks came across the roof and drove right past (over) a chimney in the middle of the roof.   Dad in his frantic early morning effort, with a close-line pole, had failed to notice the irregularity.

Nevertheless, it had the desired effect and proved to be one of my favorite stories to be told each Christmas.  Their expression of LOVE was the best present I could have ever received.  Christmas is supposed to be about the expression of LOVE.  I think that a lot of the people in this world have forgotten that.  

 

kt 2010

 

Now here is another one:

OH CHRISTMAS TREE; OH, Noooooo, THE CHRISTMAS TREE!

When I was in high school (late 50s) my mother (ignoring Dad's vociferous protests) bought us a REAL tree.  Up to then we had had a series of really BAD silver tin-foil trees with an annual changing of the color of the ornaments to be used.  One year they were a horrible magenta!

I was delighted that we were going to have a REAL tree. Mom even had it flocked with fake snow.  It was a magnificent tree!

However, (yep, you knew the however, was coming) what she failed to consider was the budgie cage filled with 6 young parakeets.  Our loving couple had blessed us with 8 eggs that fall, 6 of which hatched into adorable little trouble-makers. We thought it would be cool to watch the process but, hadn't a clue as to the problems we were inviting into our lives.

The first thing that happened is that the male (Sam) dropped dead a few weeks after we purchased him a beautiful yellow mate (Samantha).  Apparently, we had waited too long to get him a mate as he couldn't handle the stress.  I guess he knew what was coming as the brood that hatched was a real rowdy bunch.

One day, one of them figured out how to open the cage door (my mother swore that I left it ajar after feeding them) and the whole lot escaped (except for Samantha, who was glad they were gone).  I heard my mother yell, "Noooooooo! Nooooooo! The Christmas Tree!"

I rushed into the front room to find her shooing the flock from her precious tree. They were busily plucking off flocking and pine needles.  The front room was more flocked than the tree.  Thank God my mother didn't have a gun because she probably would have shot the birds, me, and then herself!

By the time we caught all 6 (took about an hour during which time my mother was uttering all kinds of obscenities) the poor tree looked a little sad.  There was white flocking and pine needles in every part of the house.  My mother was livid.

The next day the parakeets were gone (all of them) cage and all.  I never had the courage to ask her what she did with them.  I had visions of her taking them to the Chinese restaurant at the shopping center  down the street (Sorry, was that not politically correct to say?).

We went back to fake trees the next year.  A green one this time!

kt2010

                         HAVE  A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !!!

 

 

#211 = THE KINETIC KID

What a handsome young man he is!

This week my grandson Logan will be 8 years old.  He is my daughter's son and I am trying to figure out how best to describe him.  You see Logan is a lot of things, but most of all he is a wiggly, funny, ball of energy that never stops.  He goes full tilt all day.  My daughter says that he takes after his father, Patrick.  Well, according to Patrick's parents that's true. However,  my daughter, Patty, was a hand full too.  So, Logan got a double dose of wild and crazy from his parents.  

          

This kid is as sweet as they come
(once he slows down).

     

And when he slows down he often crashes,
just about anywhere (he gets this from his mom).

He can be a real goof ball ( he gets this
from his dad).

And has a flair for the dramatic ( I think he gets this from me).

                                                                          
















Logan also got a double dose of athletic ability.  My daughter was on the swim team as a young girl, and a cheer leader in high school and college (an ariel performer).  Patrick on the other hand was a sports phoneme in high school.  And, now, they both do triathlons.  

He is a terrific baseball player. 


He also plays soccer, basketball, and   
just learned how to ski.      
And, to show how well rounded he is he
is also learning how to play the guitar 
(and you should hear him singing in the
bathroom).

He is an amazing football player.

He is a terrific swimmer and entered two
triathlons this summer (and won one of them).

He is an excellent cyclist (and here he is
on the second leg of a triathlon).

He is a strong runner
(and here he is 
on the third leg of a triathlon).

He still hadn't made up his mind
about me when I took this picture.
NOTICE THE FISTS

A LOGAN STORY:  Logan can get mad just like any kid but he isn't allowed to cuss.  One a couple of summers ago he got mad at me for disciplining him, and called me a "poopy head".  His father heard the comment and cut that short with only a look and a brief side bar.Later that evening his parents went out to dinner and a movie.  Logan didn't want to go to bed.  When I tried to make him he started to call me a "poopy head" (I could see it starting to form this word on his lips).  His eyes went up as if remembering the brief interaction with his dad and then called me a "monkey head" instead.  Of course, I didn't want to reinforce that phrase either, so I stifled a laugh.  

Since he wouldn't go to bed and kept slipping out of his room I sat in the doorway.  Logan was playing in his room, making all kinds of noise and occasionally glaring at me.  When he heard the out side door open and shut, his eyes flew open wide, his mouth went into an "O" shape and with a flying leap he landed in his bed.  Just a quickly he covered himself up and closed his eyes.  Boy, his dad sure has him under his control.

THIS IS A CLASSIC STORY ABOUT LOGAN THAT I WROTE ON  Dec. 6, 2010.
I called my daughter, Patty, to wish her and her family a Happy Thanksgiving.  I got to talk with both of the kids.  Shay (2nd grade) is all reserved and lady like.  A real sweetheart but, getting information from her is like pulling a cat through a knothole backwards.  She usually answers my questions with one word answers like,  "Good,"  or  "Fine," or "Uh Huh."   When asked what she was thankful for and she gave me the funny up and down sound (you know the one that is a kind of guttural I don't know).  However, she finally told me she was thankful for her dogs.

However, when Logan (first grade) came to the phone he was all bubbly, as usual.  I asked him what he was thankful for and he reeled off a long list of things.  Then he paused and said, “Wait...wait!   I’m thankful for my blood, too!”  Of course this caused me to break into laughter and prompted a memory of something that happened earlier. 

THE MEMORY: You see, Logan is always one minute away from a bump, scrape, or whatever.  One day I receive a call from my daughter who had to hide in her office so Logan couldn’t hear her laughing while she told me what had happened.  

Apparently, Logan was not being careful at the kitchen table (no surprise there).  He was leaning the chair back on two legs.  My daughter was in her office and heard a loud crash (not unusual when Logan’s around).  But, what WAS unusual is she heard him wailing these words, “I’m dying!  I’m dying!”

Patty sprinted into the kitchen and found Logan lying on the floor, his chin tucked into his neck and his hands desperately clutching that area.  Blood was running from between his fingers.  He was still saying over and over, "I'm dying!" 

Trying not to panic, Patty pried his fingers away to see what the damage was.  She was relieved to find that he had only hit his chin on a stair step but the wound was bleeding profusely.

Now, here’s the clincher.  Logan''s tear filled, limpid eyes looked up into his mother’s face with a concerned look and said, "I love you Mommie, I’m going to miss you.”  He plaintively said this (several times).

While administering quick first aid Patty tried to convenience him that he was not going to die.  Shay, being quite the trooper, was already at her mother’s side helping.  The two of them took Logan to the hospital for stitches (not the first and probably not the last).  

At the hospital his wonderful Aunt Debbie met them and put in several stitches.  Then she sent him on his way with a belly full of candy called Swedish Fish (that ought to calm him down!).

Happy Birthday Logan,

I want you to know that I miss you very much.  You are so much fun to be around.   You can always make me laugh.  If I lived near you I would be at every game (or event) cheering you on.

What a wonderful young man you are becoming.  You are so very talented in so many ways.  I am definitely proud of having a grandson like you.

I think that Shay is lucky to have you for a little brother and I also know that your Mom and Dad are blessed to have you in their life.

Have a terrific birthday and I will come to see you the first chance that I get.

Love Grammy

#209 - BOARD to DEATH (just read it before you criticize my spelling).

My first real encounter with a live snake
(which I shall reveal here) was a DOOZIE 
and occurred around the first of August in 1968

Though not a professional snake wrangler, I have handled snakes (itty bitty garden snakes) before.  After all, I was once a Girl Scout and a den mother for a group of 8 cub scouts.  I had been shown (several times) how to correctly handle snakes and how to tell if they were venomous.  Also, come on, over the years I have watched dozens of shows by Mutual of Omaha and the Animal Channel. 


At the time of this encounter I was living in a small farm home in the Missouri Ozarks.  My husband (soon to be ex, but that's another story) had moved us there from Palm Desert, California.  I loved the Ozarks area and the house was the home in which my husband was born, so it had meaning.

Out behind the house was a small barn and in the pasture were three horses.  One was a big, white, frightening, wild eyed, stallion.  One was a mean little Shetland runt (who loved to nip my thigh and rump).  And, one (which was ours) was a retired, circus horse who knew all kinds of tricks (if you knew how to prompt her).   Ginger was 26 years old and as smart as a whip.  She didn't like to be ridden so she would always detour under low hanging branches and close to the trunks of trees.  I got knocked/scraped off several times (but she never did that with my kids). 

Ginger, Gene, Patty and me (can't believe I had my hair up in curlers)

The horses would not go into the barn no matter what I did.  I tried leading them, luring them, cooing to them and on and on and on.  Finally, I decided it was because there were boards just laid down on the dirt floor.  When I walked on them they would wobble a bit so I can imagine how they would move when the horses stepped on them.  Plus, there was other junk stored in that barn.

So, one day, since it was getting close to fall I decided the barn needed to be cleaned out for the horses.
In I went with a rake, a shovel, a wheelbarrow, a broom and a bucket with various items in it.  I hauled all of the junk out and stacked it behind the barn to be carried off or burned.  I worked on this all morning and into the afternoon while a friend watched my kids.  Then it came time to pull out the boards.  Everything was going fine until I got to the 5th board.  As I lifted it up a hugh (and I do mean HUGH) snake darted out then back under the next board.

I had only seen the animal for a brief second but long enough to consider it one of the most beautiful snakes I have ever seen.   This snake had orange, light-brown,  even a pinkish body that was highlighted by darker chestnut brown bands that formed a whole series of hourglass shapes across its body.

See, isn't it beautiful!

Immediately I thought of my son Gene.  He would love a snake as a pet. Therefore, I set about devising a way to catch it.

I glanced around and quickly came up with a plan which involved the bucket, a broom and a small piece of wood for a lid to the bucket.  Armed with this snake snaring paraphernalia I proceeded to raise and toss the 6th board.  The snake tried to pull the same maneuver and slip under board #7.  But, ha..ha..I was too quick for him/her.  After flinging the plank I grabbed the bucket and broom.  Then I beat the tarnation out of the snake with the broom and steered him into the bucket.  Whack, whack, whack, turned up the bucket, then slapped the make shift lid on the top.  Now, I could have reached down and grabbed it by the neck at the back of it's head, but since I hadn't gotten a real good look at it I decided not to take the chance.

Satisfied with my smart move and my prize I picket up the bucket, put it in the back seat of my car (with a rock on the lid) and headed for my father-in-laws country store, just down the road.  I wanted to know just what kind of snake I had caught (this was the olden days before internet).

When I arrived several men from the area had congregated around the inside of the store.  As usual they were drinking beer, sharing stories, and laughing.  I came in the door and they greeted me with a few nods and a "Hey, gal."

I put my bucket down, removed the lid tilted it towards the men and said, "Do any of you guys know what kind of snake this is?"  Before I could finish my sentence ALL of the men jumped up falling all over each other and fled the store.  Some were running, (one jumped through the open screen-less window),  all were cussing and yelling all sorts of unpleasant comments.  I put the lid back on the bucket and looked out the door.

My husband yelled from the parking lot,  "Karen, you've done a lot of hair-brained things but this one takes the cake."  Get that darned bucket out here (only he didn't exactly say darned)."

When I returned to the door with the bucket in hand I could see all of the men lined up with shotguns in their arms.  Now, this was the Ozarks, my friends, and since my husband and I hadn't been getting along lately I thought that this might be what is referred to as a QUICKY DIVORCE, Ozark style.

My husband asked me to gently put the bucket down in front of the men, and back up.  Ok, like a good wife, I did what I was told and then there was a deafening sound as all seven men fired at the bucket.  The bucket was blown to smithereens as was that beautiful snake.  DEATH was brutal and swift.

In not too kind of a tone or gentle language (and with one hand on his hip and the other hand pointing a finger at me), my husband told me that I had managed to capture an unusually large Copperhead whose venom could have killed me before anyone could have gotten me to the hospital.  He went on to add that this was the blind season for Copperheads making it an extremely dangerous time to mess with them. 

What did I say in response?"Oh, and it was so pretty."  To which my husband threw up his hands and stomped off.

I tried like crazy to find a yellow smiley face snake.  This will have to do.
By the way, do you NOW get my little pun of a title? 
 (Ok, ok, a little cheesy but it is all I could come up with)    kt 8/2011

PS:  WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT 43 YEARS TO THE MONTH I CAUGHT A YOUNG COPPERHEAD!  On September 8th I was leaving the hospital after visiting my dad and a kid ran to the nurses station and said, "There's a snake in the waiting room.  My dad thinks it's a copper head."  Without missing a beat I said, "I'll take care of it."

When I got there a young snake about 12 inches long was laying up against the base board under a chair.  Four other people were standing about six feet from the critter.  Although small, I knew immediately that it was a young Copperhead.  A young woman entered the room with a broom and a bucket.  I started to laugh as I remembered the above story.  I just told her to stay where she was.  I took a trash can, tipped it over, stepped on the very end of the snakes tail and it quickly slithered into the dark bucket.  I tipped the bucket up and then tied a knot in the plastic baggie.  Handing the trash can with baggie and snake to the girl with the broom I said, "There you go."

The next morning when I returned to see Dad I asked his nurse if she had heard about the snake in the waiting room.  She said yes, and then I asked her what she had heard.  Her words exactly were, "I heard that there was a Copperhead snake in the waiting room and some crazy lady caught it and gave it to an aide."  Then her eyes got big and she said, "Were you that crazy lady?" All I could do was laugh.

#203 - MAN UP TO THE PANTY CHALLENGE

FISHDUCKEY...SEE SPECIAL NOTE TO YOU AT THE VERY END.

(THIS IS KT WRITING IN RED)  I received THIS from thedesertrocks.blogspot.com on Saturday 8/6 GEE THANKS!:　

Laila at The Untroubledkingdomoflailaknight sent me this challenge saying that since I was sweet she knew I wouldn't turn her down. How do I argue with that? Thank goodness it's not a let's all jump off a cliff challenge....

IT'S MEME TIME

Then, after I answer these questions I am supposed to tag five bloggers so this delightfully easy challenge gets passed along.  

Try to go for sweet and vulnerable and you shouldn't have a problem....

        I TOOK OFF THEIR PICTURE

          AND DECIDED TO POST MY OWN:

            

CAUGHT SHORT
This is me during my infamous mini-skirt days.
The picture was taken then posted on the bulletin
board where I worked (a Municipal Court House
 in Calif.)   NOTICE = my knees are together...

Ok, you can hardly blame me for stepping up to the challenge as I have authored TWO posts which discuss my undies!

http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=874207911908838979&postID=1591679827437061830

(HOW I GOT THE NICK NAME BETTY BOOP)   I understand this one didn't work so try:                http://outofmymindbykt.blogspot.com/2011/03/159-friday-flashbacks-how-i-acquired.html

AND

outofmymindbykt.blogspot.com/2010/12/61-paranioa-tighty-whities-story.html

(PARANOIA, THE TIGHTY WHITES STORY)

AND ta-ta..ta-da! here are the questions:

1. What do you call your panties / underwear / undergarments? Do you have any commonly used nicknames for them? 

Well, not tighty whities I learned this the hard way.  What?  Doesn't everyone call them under pants?  Give my underpants a Nickname...are you nuts!

2. Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your underwear?

Nope,  but I have dreamed about suddenly finding myself shopping in the nude.  However, since the dream happens in Walmart, nobody noticed. 

3. What is the worst thing you can think of to make panties out of?

Well, dental floss.  Woops, they already make them out of that don't they?  They're called thongs.

4. If you were a pair of panties, what color would you be? 

Ahhh, no way would I ever all myself to be changed into a pair of panties.  I can't imagine hanging around crotchety old ladies netherlands (or is it Never-Never lands?).  

5. Have you ever thrown your panties/underwear at a rock star or other celebrity? If so, which one(s)? If not, which one(s) WOULD you throw your panties/underwear at, given the opportunity?

I have never thrown my underpants to anyone.  However, it just so happens that I did throw my panty hose at a Matador while in Tijuana watching a bull fight.  But, cerveza (beer) did play a major role in that fiasco (and I did have underpants on under the hose).  This incident is on my list for a future post.  

6. You’re out of clean panties. What do you do?

Go commando!  Duh!  btdt (been there done that)

7. Are you old enough to remember Underoos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?

No.  But, I'm old enough to know that Cleopatra probably didn't wear undies.  However, I haven't a clue what Underoos are.  Must have missed those.  Let me check on the internet... ... ... 

Oh, I see.
These came out in 1977 (when I was 36).
 They probably didn't have them for adults.
But. if they did I would have chosen these.

8. If you could have any message printed on your panties, what would it be?

BACK OFF!, I'm too old for that kind of S#!T...

9. How many bloggers does it take to put panties on a goat?

SIX
One to club the goat over the head.

One to put the panties on.
One to take pictures.
One to bail the first three out of jail for animal cruelty & malicious mischief.
One to pay off the farmer whose goat was violated.
One to write up the blog post.


Come on....only nine...there should be at least ten questions when doing a survey.  Every statistician knows that.


10.  What was your most embarrassing moment involving your panties?


Don't have any, BUT I SURE HOPE YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now to choose a few friends who won't mind playing along. So here we go....

You can if you want to but...NOPE, you know me better than that.  I don't always follow the rules  (Ergo, the picture change).  So let me try this... ... 

Any of you reading this post, who would like to rise to this challenge, please do, and then comment back to me so I will know that you did so.  (That is all except Christine Lucas who begged to be include  http://christinalucas.blogspot.com/).

The challenge is to MAKE ME LAUGH.  COME ON, I DARE YOU!

kt 8/6/2011 

SEE YOU NEXT MONDAY FOR...... 
"#204 -

 "BOO, BUG-A-BOO, TOBY AND A KITTY TOO"

BE SURE TO WRITE THE 8/29 ON YOU CALENDAR 

FOR MY FAVORITE STORY.
  

PS:  My granddaughter  has moved four hours away to another tow (Amen).  Call me crazy but, I will miss the little ones (and I am not talking about the critters!).  

TO FISHDUCKEY:  THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF GLITCHES IN THE BLOGSPOT PROGRAM.  AND,THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF THINGS FOR ME TO REMEMBER TO DO.  PUT THOSE TWO ISSUES TOGETHER AND S#!T HAPPENS.  


USUALLY I TRY TO SCHEDULE BLOGS AHEAD SO I WON'T MISS A MONDAY POST (DUE TO LIFE'S LITTLE SURPRISES).  ANYWAY, WHEN I FINISH A POST I SCHEDULE A DATE FOR ITS RELEASE.  THEN I HAVE TO CLICK ON "PUBLISH POST."  HOWEVER, SOMETIMES THE DARN THING POSTS IMMEDIATELY.  IF THAT HAPPENS I HAVE TO IMMEDIATELY WITHDRAW IT OR IT MESSES UP EVERYTHING.  ONLY, THE SNAPSHOT OF THAT POST DOESN'T COME OF AT THE SAME TIME.  I HAVE A NAME FOR THIS.  I CALL IT C.R.A.P. (Computer Related Attacks by Poltergeists.


BY THE WAY...I DEFINITELY LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR COMMENTS.  I JOIN WITH MY BLOGGER FRIENDS AND AGREE THAT YOU SHOULD START YOUR OWN BLOG.  THINK ABOUT IT.  WE BLOGGERS ARE REAL HELPFUL AND WILL ANSWER QUESTIONS AND HELP.  THINK ABOUT IT.     kt