#193-I LAUGH AT MYSELF REGULARLY!

I really don't understand why some people get so angry at jokes which happen to spotlight their particular demographic group.  I managed to laugh at and even tell some very good blonde jokes myself (I was once a blond).  What's the big deal ?  So, just to prove it I am offering these jokes about aging that some of my good friends have been kind enough to send me since I turned 70.   kt    PS:  See answer to, "How are you doing?" this Monday (6/20).

                                        

                                        This would be me before my cataract surgery.  kt

This would be me after my cataract surgery.
(just can't resist an opportunity)   kt

                                        
                                If this were actually my chart there would be a slice
designated for peeing.  kt

I did have something similar happen.  I lost my half slip 

while walking down the side walk.  kt 

Been there done that.  kt

MY SENTIMENTS, EXACTLY!  kt2011  

#85-HAPPY NEW YEAR

I HAVE ONLY CELEBRATED ON NEW YEAR EVE  ONE TIME.

WHEN I WAS IN GRADE SCHOOL MY PARENTS TOOK ME TO HOLLYWOOD AND VINE.  BY MIDNIGHT I WAS TOTALLY BORED BUT DID GET A KICK OUT OF THE COUNT DOWN.  "SO, THIS IS IT?" I SAID TO MY PARENTS.  THEY NODDED.  "BIG DEAL!" I UTTERED AND HAVEN'T PARTICIPATED TO THIS DAY.   kt 2010

#68-WHAT'S WHOOPEE ANYWAY?

"One of my friends (Clenna) sent me this and I enjoyed a big lol because I was thinking along similar lines. I say similar because I might resort to this "IF" I could choose which person got to pat me down.  Then I had multiple, consecutive flashbacks of the times I went thought the security line and the individuals who were there manning those lines.  NOPE!  Don't remember a single one that tripped my trigger, floated my boat, or even tickled my fancy.

You see, I have been divorced (from my 2nd husband) for 40 years and haven't even had a date since 1976 (let alone any whoopee.....  yes, whoopee, remember this is a "G" rated blog).  I looked back at my life and wondered, "How did that happen?"  I really thought I would remarry after my second divorce.  Yes, you read right (both times).  I didn't mistype  "2nd" and that, dear friends, is another story. 

Well, after my last divorce my children were young and I just couldn't face the prospect of reentering the dating game.
              "But,"  I said to myself, " I do miss the whoopee."


When my children got a little older I lived in Los Angeles and I didn't like what I saw out there.  Dating could be dangerous.
              I said to myself, "I  can live without whoopee."


Then I moved to a small town in Missouri I found that there were no suiters available, at least any in which I was interested.  The only good ones were already taken and the others had to be drug out of the gutter and cleaned up.
          At this point I said to myself, "I don't want whoopee that bad!"


When the kids started moving out and away, I thought that maybe it was time for me to remarry.  However, I didn't want to marry someone only to have to nurse him for the rest of my life.
          I said to myself, "Big deal, whoopee is over rated."


Now that I am retired I realized that if I found someone now, I wouldn't be able to get naked (or for that matter see him naked).
          I said to myself, "Hey, old gal, you don't even want whoopee!"


So, here I sit, typing this blog.  I have few major interactions with the world.  Therefore, I understand this cartoon completely.
          So, I say to myself, "Well.  So this is what WHOOPEE has become!"  Oh, well, maybe I'll get lucky on my next flight to the East Coast! 

POST SCRIPT: Currently, I am taking care of my 99 year old father.  There is some IRONY in that isn't there?  I did not remarry, but the end game is the same as I am taking care of an old man who I have to give baths!

2010 kt