#187-OMG, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY MIND?

I RECENTLY LEARNED HOW TO USE Ebay AND THIS WAS ONE OF MY SECOND PURCHASE (we won't talk about my first one).  HOWEVER, I AM A BIT STYMIED.  WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT LITTLE SIDE EGG SHAPED CUP FOR?  (Oh, mannnn, was that supposed to be written "For what on earth is that little side egg shaped cup?" I hate grammar!)  I read the wee instruction booklet and it mentioned nothing about this feature.


ALERT!  ALERT! She's going into one of those weird mental states where she lets her mind fly free.  Run, hide, or read on with caution.  If you choose to read on Don' blame me if you are offended   Better take this seriously as I am about to get gross!


Is that where a little chick sits while it watches it's little siblings in egg hell? (Can't say I didn't warn you!)


I can't believe my mind just came up with that...shudder!   Oh, mannnnn!  Here comes another idea.  What would I do if I cracked one of those hard boiled eggs and found...I can't even bring myself to say it.  Would I throw up?  No, the question would be WHERE would I throw up?


Being too freaked out by what my mind just conjured up I think it best to stop my musings.  Obviously this was not the day to let my mind out of its cage!


I did learn something from this purchase (besides how to bid on Ebay).  The manufacturer suggested using their little pin to pierce the egg so it wouldn't pop during the cooking.
Funny thing is I didn't find their "pin" until I accidentally pricked my finger on it yesterday.
It is imbedded in the black tray beside one of the egg holes.


So, why don't some of you ponder the purpose of the little egg thingy on the side.  To do this you should know that the black bottom is separate from the opaque top and the cooker bottom.  In the meantime I am going to contact the manufacturers and ask them.


(NEVER-MIND: couldn't find the manufacturers on line, THEY APPARENTLY ARE IN SOUTH AMERICA).


Take a "crack" at it and see what you can come up with.  
(Oh, mannnnn, was that supposed to be written, "...and see with what you can come up"... no that still end with a preposition.  Mannnnn!  I give up!).  And, while we are at it, should I have put a period after the parenthesis???
kt 12/2010


 P. S. Since I wrote this piece, the darned thing has bellied up.  It lasted a whole 4 months.  I am never buying on E-Bay again!  


kt 3/12/11

#181-RANDOM QUESTIONS

FOR THOSE OF YOU NOT ON BLOGSPOT THERE IS A WEIRD RANDOM QUESTION SECTION THAT DOES JUST THAT, GENERATES RANDOM QUESTIONS THAT ARE WEIRD.  IT IS THE QUESTIONS THAT MAKE ME WONDER ABOUT THE PERSON OR PERSONS COMING UP WITH THEM.  WHAT ON EARTH IS THE PURPOSE OF THESE QUESTIONS?  ARE THERE PEOPLE OUT THERE CHAMPING AT THE BIT TO RISE TO THE BATE? (Is that a mixed metaphor?)  I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HOW THESE QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED.  SO, I GUESS THAT MEANS THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE TO READ ALL THE PROFILES OF THE BLOGGERS I FOLLOW.  OK... ... ...BE RIGHT BACK!


60 minutes later... ... NOPE!  Nobody answered any random questions.  No surprise there! I mean, take a look at them. Can you come up with any answers to these dumb questions?  For that matter can you come up with any reasons for having these questions on a profile in the first place?  Here is a sampling of some of the questions and my feeble attempt to answer them  (FYI: since I wrote this I did find 1 person who answered one of the questions):


1.  You can punch a hole in an apple using a straw. How do you think that makes your milkshake feel?
 I would be more concerned about how my apple felt having a foreign object jabbed into its side.  The more serious question is what if I sucked on the straw and inhaled the little core!  Would the straw be sorry?          
2.  Try writing your name with your other hand. Where was that person raised?
That's obvious.  I was "left" out in the cold and raised by squirrels (I have been called squirrelly often).

3.   Which is easier to make a model airplane out of and why: a banana peel or a wet sock?
Both!  Each of them can fly a long distance when thrown.  And they both would make a terrific "splat" as they impacted the head of who (or is it whom) ever they struck.
4.  If your whole body was a hot air balloon would you stop eating spicy food?
Depends if I want to go up higher or gradually float back to earth.  With my gastric problems this is something I would have to consider carefully (or I could be on my way to the moon).

5.  Which is more important to you and why: flexibility or expandability?

BOTH are equally important particularly if we are talking about my jeans.

6.  The first time you had your shoes taken off - how surprised were you to see that you still had toes?
The first time I had my shoes taken off I was probably too young to know.  After all, I used them for sucking on and probably thought they were, ahhh, something else.

7.  If you could peer far enough into the night sky, you'd see a star in any direction you looked. When would you sleep?

So!  Who cares?  Been there done that. And,  since it would have to be night time to see the stars I assume I go to sleep after I got through boring myself to death by looking at the stars ALONE.
  

8.  The squish of mud between your toes; how would you live your life as a frog?
 I love the squish of mud between my toes.  I would spend my time on a lilly pad trying to catch lightening bugs (to see them light up my belly to make me laugh).

9.  You forgot your mom's birthday! What can you make out of super glue and olive pits?

Mom's are easy.  My mother LOVED what ever I made her.  My suggestion would be to glue the pits onto her FAVORITE pillow sham in the shape of a heart.  And I wouldn't forget to sign it, "I LOVE YOU," with a sharpie.  (No, I swear, I never did that... ... ... exactly).

10. How is an ankle unlike a consequence? 

I saved this for last because it is the hardest.  An ankle is not a consequence because it is a sequence.  A sequence of bones... ... ...and the foot bone connected to the ankle bone, and the ankle bone connected to the leg bone... ...Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones... ... ...

DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!  THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER?  HAVE AT IT!
kt 3/2011

#10-FRIDAY FLASHBACKS (Harry and Kallie)

For those of you new followers each Friday I reprint an earlier post.  Sometimes I tweak it a  little sometimes I don't.  

This is something I wrote for my granddaughter stationed in Korea (after she told me about this horrible spider dropping out of a tree onto her shirt). 

I am not going to split this up into parts so stick with me on this to the end....OK?

One May morning two large spiders were climbing through a tall tree at the Osan Air Force Base in Korea.  Mother spider had taken her teenage son out for a night hunt and they were just returning home.  Her son was going on and on about the big exciting world they live in and Mom was mostly ignoring him.

Harry was saying (in spider language, of course), "Ma, oh, Ma, I saw the neatest thing today.  A spider, kinda like me jumped out of a tree and glided to the ground.  It was a thing of beauty!  A long silver streamer trailed behind him and he flew.   He flew, Ma!"

Mom knew it was time to tell her son that he was not equipped for such a feat when the youngster yelled out, "Ma ... ... ... Ma, watch me!" and off the branch he jumped.

"Oh, well," the mother said to herself, "Teenagers!"  "Then again," she thought, "I have been trying to get him to leave home for ages!"

Days went by and the mother spider did not see (or miss) her son.  Finally, one night, she heard him dragging himself up the tree to their home.  He was a frightful mess.  Also, he was limping on two of his six furry legs and had dirt and grime all over what was once shiny brown hair.  One mandible was even bent.

Mother asked, "Well, Harry, where have you been?  I couldn't hold dinner forever.  I had it all wrapped up for you, but when you didn't show I gave it to your younger brothers."  Harry plopped down beside his mother and sighed.

"Well, Ma, you see the flight down out of the tree was fun...........at first.  Then, I realized that I wasn't floating like the other spider.  Next, I noticed I did not have that long silver streamer coming out of my rear end.  Finally, I realized that I was in trouble."

Taking a deep breath, Harry continued.  "The ground was coming up fast. There were two of those human animals you warned me about, directly below me.  I tried to let them know I was dropping by, but I guess they don't speak spider.  Anyway, down I came and landed, KER-PLUNK, right on top of one of them."

Harry shuddered as he remembered the horror of what happened next.  "Well," he said, "that is when all hell broke loose!" The one I landed on wasn't very nice.  It started making all kinds of noise (most of which, I am sure, started with their "F" sound). It was jumping around like a tree branch in a wind storm.  It was screaming so loud that I thought my head would burst.  Suddenly, a part of it flew off (the part I was clinging to) and so did I.  By the way, Ma, did you know that they could shed their skins.  Freaky, huh!  Anyway, I landed in a puddle of mud and tried to scurry off.  That is when I found that legs number two and four weren't working so well.  I haven't a clue why, but the second human was jumping and screaming too.  It almost stepped on me.  I didn't even come near it at all, honest Ma!  I crawled into a nearby dirty, stinky hole and rested up during the day."

With a dazed look still in his eyes, Harry continued, "I couldn't sleep because of all of the humans walking by, so the next night I started limping my way home.  Every time I saw a human I had to duck into another hiding place.  I was so terrified that I am sure that I lost some of my hair (as he said this he ran one of his working legs across a part of his abdomen to smooth down some of the remaining rumpled hairs).  I was almost home when I heard a sound that curdled my blood; I do have blood don't I Ma?  You DID neglect to tell me that I didn't have a para-shoot like the other spider!"

Mother just gave Harry one of her, get on with it, looks and Harry said, "Oh, Yeah, back to the sound."

After taking another deep breath Harry went on, "It was that same human walking down the path.  I froze in abject terror of being found by this fierce creature.  It picked up a rock on the path and flung it into the bush I was hiding behind.  How it knew I was there I do not know.  The rock hit me squarely on the head and bent my mandible.  I may never be able to eat again!" 

Mother spider just stared at her teenage son, and said "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger!"  Then she walked off shaking her head uttering, "Give me strength!"

Harry followed her spouting phrases like, "Ma, can we move? It's dangerous here!"  "I'm never leaving your side again!"

After Harry's last remark you could faintly hear Mother spider say, "Well, Sh_ _!"

kt 2010