#140-THURSDAY'S THERAPY (Cavorting Carpet #97)

(REMINDER: the giveaway ends on February 28th at midnight - see #117 on 2/1 for details)

I love reading people's comments.  Therefore, I have decided to pick a comment each Thursday to post.  Of course this will fall FLAT if you guys aren't making comments!  This is no longer an issue.  In fact, I have so many wonderful comments to choose from that I am having a hard time keeping up.  THANK YOU!  ALL OF YOU! 

(And yet another change.  I decided to rename this meme THURSDAY'S THERAPY because I consider this blog to be therapy for me.  It is your comments that keep me going!  Also, since I have been getting so many comments I am going to do several of the comments on a particular post.)

To #97-RUNAWAY RUG aka CAVORTING CARPET

"I HAVE A TRAVELING RUG AND IT IS MOVING SLOWLY TO THE EAST."

clenna said...

Or ...... you are really in the land of Lilliput. And those little people don't like change!! Smarten up girl!

I am smart, I have an IQ of 143 133 123 113 (ok, let's skip that part)!  Besides, if it is Lilliputians moving the rug then I am sorry to say that they have frozen to death by now because I put the rug out to sun in 15 degree weather a couple of weeks ago..

jhitomi said...

Funny rug, belongs with funny you...
wow, Corollas effect, interesting. You are an incredible font of information. So I Say!  

Mannn, I hate it when commenters make me look up words!  Phew! A synonym for font is source. I thought you meant definition (c) a receptacle for various liquids (and I gave that up years ago)! 

jhitomi said...

oops, I meant So Say I...I'll have to use that more often to get used to it.

I probably read that in one of those Elizabethan novels I was forced to read in school.

(Martha said, "Helen, I really think your sister's husband is a cad!"  "So say I," replied Helen. "But please be quiet as he is hiding under my bed!") 

Red Nomad OZ said...

Haha! There are some things in the universe that just can't be explained!!

I look forward to hearing where it ends up next!!

Red Nomad Oz
Adventures in Australia

PS Maybe it's just trying to escape??

Yep, can't explain a lot of things.  For example, I read somewhere that your toilet water (when flushed) swirls the opposite direction of mine!  However, after careful (ok, brief) research I find that something I thought of as true IS NOT!   Lets make sure!  QUICK...run to your (whatever you guys call it) and flush.  Which direction is the water swirling?  Mine swirls clockwise. 

Miss M said...

Teehee :) Wonder what it is??? 

Keep us updated ! I forever think I am losing things, my jewelry to be specific. Maybe I'm having the same problem............

Well, it's not the Lilliputians as I have talked with my "ant" (see #92) emissary and she says that neither the ants nor the Lilliputians are responsible.  I'm going with poltergeists or aliens (although mice and crows come to mind when it comes to shiny things).

The Desert Rocks said...

I think if you google thedesertrocks, you might get me.

When I googled thedesertrocks I came up with 10 pages.  That is 9 pages more than I wanted to search so I said to myself, "Well, old gal, you can't come up with something for everyone."

I did measure the rug's progress and it moves about 1/4 inch a week (that's pretty fast for a week).  Now here is a problem for everyone to figure out.  At that rate how long would it get to Australia?  Once there would it turn around and start back?  Or would it stall out in the heat over the equator?  Food for thought!

And, as I was writing this post a large red pillow slowly left the room. Nope, not Lilliputians or ants or even poltergeists...TOBY!  BRING THAT BACK HERE!.....gotta go!

FYI: I had to do this entire post over again because those darned Computer Relater Attacks by Polteguists (C.R.A.P.)spread this out over 9 pages!

THERE IS A STORY ABOUT THE TATTOO ON SATURDAY (#142) AND BEING MUGGED IS  COMMING UP ON MONDAY (#144)  kt 2/2011

#97-RUNAWAY RUG aka CAVORTING CARPET

I HAVE A TRAVELING RUG AND IT IS MOVING SLOWLY TO THE EAST.

Psst, don't tell her, but
she doesn't have a clue.
One of these nights I'm
going to hover over her
bed and scare the $#@!
out of her!

One might say that most of the foot traffic is probably from the west to east through my bedroom.  This is definitely a good theory since the rug is usually at the foot of my bed.  I can travel from the kitchen, through the half bath, east through my room, and on into the hall which offers me a number of choices of rooms.  However, the reverse is also just as true. So, the foot traffic should move the rug both ways (brilliant deduction, so say I).  "So say I"?????where the heck did that come from?


Being curious, I performed my first experiment.  I moved the rug to the side of my bed where there was very little foot traffic.  The darned thing kept slowly migrating east.


There are a number of possibilities, I guess, but several weird ones just popped into my head.

One:  My house is situated on top of some kind of vortex or magnetic fei.  Nawh, if that were true all my rugs would migrate.

Two:  The rug IS wool.  Is it possible it was made in the Middle East and is trying to get home?  Nope, can't be (well, I don't think that is the case).  It could be a flying carpet that has lost its"oomph." Maybe it is a recycled Muslim prayer rug!

Three:  The "P" (poltergeists) from the C.R.A.P (Computer Related Attack by Poltergeist - see blog articles #48 and #58) on my computer have escaped and are hiding in my rug.  A definite possibility.  Be right back... ... ok, I put a crucifix in the middle of the rug, just in case.


Four:  The coriolis effect (see definition below) is moving it that way.  Uh-Uh... if that were the case then more rugs and smaller objects would be moving east too...wait...gotta check and see if anything has moved on my dresser (it will be easy to see because of all the acumulated dust)...  Nada...no tracks!

         Co·ri·o·lis effect    (kôr-ls, kr-) KEY 

         NOUN:The observed effect of the Coriolis force, especially the deflection 

         of an object moving above the earth, rightward in the northern 
         hemisphere and leftward in the southern hemisphere.  You know, it's the reason 
                  that the water in our toilet bowls swirls to the right when we flush.
I PUT THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION HERE BECAUSE I READ SOMEWHERE THAT BOLGS SHOULD BE INFORMATIVE.  SO...THERE YOU GO!  YOU ARE INFORMED!

Five:  Those danged ants have somehow gotten into that rug and are slowly trying to sneak it out of the house (see blog article #92)!  Wait...I'll be right back...gotta check.  PHOOEY!  No ants there, but to be sure I STOMPED the heck out of the rug anyway (carefully avoiding the crucifix).


Six:  Oh, mannnnnn!  Maybe I have bed bugs and they prefer my rug!  Wouldn't blame them if they did as I am a restless sleeper and probably keep them awake.  Ok...that thought got me itching...gotta go strip the bed...gotta put the rug in the sun on the front porch...gotta find the crucifix that fell of the rug when I picked it up...gotta take a shower.


THE NEXT DAY:  Found the crucifix under the bed.  Oh, mannnnn, I just thought of another one! Seven:   Could it be that  something has been hiding under my bed!  YIKES!


Ok, calm down.  I guess I need to do some more thinking on the situation to see if I can figure out why this is happening.  Maybe I should run some other experiments.  It might be useful to see how fast it is traveling.  Also, I might find a clue by Googling those desert rocks that mysteriously travel.  Or, perhaps I could just let it wander (instead of pulling it back) and see where it is headed. Maybe I could put a leash or teather on it.  Or, perhaps nail it to the floor... ...


This is getting too weird.  Guess I will tackle this mystery another day.  It will be ok until I wake up some morning and find it leaning agaist the wall or hovering above my bed.  


OH-OH thought of another one.  Eight:  ALIENS!!!!!!!

kt2011

#88-HEY ELMER, WHO'S THE NUT WITH THE LIGHT?

FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU GUYS FOR MAKING 2010 A GREAT YEAR.  I HAVE DELIGHTED IN WRITING THIS BLOG.  IT IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IN A WHILE.  THIS GETS ME UP IN THE MORNING AND FILLS IN THE BORING DAYS I HAVE HAD IN THE PAST (taking care of my 99 year old father 24/7).  AND, WHEN TV IS LOUSY (way too many times lately) I CAN TURN TO WRITING.  THANKS FOR THE MANY WONDERFUL COMMENTS AND FOR BEING SO GOOD TO ME.
Karen


I love fire flies (or lightening bugs).  In fact, when my parents moved me from Missouri to California in 1952 they were one of the things I missed the most.

One evening, this summer (2010) I sat on my small front porch listening to the frogs and enjoying the relative silence of the night. 

Hi!  You talkin to me?

Across the street a naturally landscaped vacant lot  with a drainage ditch, lush fescue and a variety of trees, was growing very dark.  The darkness was closing in and at that moment I was glad that there wasn’t a street light close to my home.  You see, since it was so dark I could clearly see the bright fire flies raise from the grass and drop from the trees.

It was like they were an earth bound Milky Way only I could see their movements.

Suddenly, I had a scathingly (I love this word) brilliant idea, rushed into the house, and retrieved a pen-light.  Plopping myself back in my chair I proceeded to blink the light; trying to pattern it to their rhythm.

The activity across the road started to change.  I would blink at them and some of them would blink back.  I would blink at them again and some would move closer.  This went on for about 10 minutes.

Drats! U aint what I got all lit up fer!

Much to my delight my whole front yard was filled with lightening bugs.  I sat there enjoying the light show and wondering how confused they must be when the bright light that summoned them did not court them as they had expected.  

kt2011

#10 Harry and Kallie

This is something I wrote for my granddaughter stationed in Korea (after she told me about this horrible spider dropping out of a tree onto her shirt). 


I am not going to split this up into parts so stick with me on this to the end....OK?


One May morning two large spiders were climbing through a tall tree at the Osan Air Force Base in Korea.  Mother spider had taken her teenage son out for a night hunt and they were just returning home.  Her son was going on and on about the big exciting world they live in and Mom was mostly ignoring him.


Harry was saying (in spider language, of course), "Ma, oh, Ma, I saw the neatest thing today.  A spider, kinda like me jumped out of a tree and glided to the ground.  It was a thing of beauty!  A long silver streamer trailed behind him and he flew.   He flew, Ma!"


Mom knew it was time to tell her son that he was not equipped for such a feat when the youngster yelled out, "Ma,.........Ma, watch me!" and off the branch he jumped.


"Oh, well," the mother said to herself, "Teenagers!"  "Then again," she thought, "I have been trying to get him to leave home for ages!"


Days went by and the mother spider did not see (or miss) her son.  Finally, one night, she heard him dragging himself up the tree to their home.  He was a frightful mess.  Also, he was limping on two of his six furry legs and had dirt and grime all over what was once shiny brown fur.  One mandible was even bent.


Mother asked, "Well, Harry, where have you been?  I couldn't hold dinner forever.  I had it all wrapped up for you, but when you didn't show I gave it to your younger brothers."  Harry plopped down beside his mother and sighed.


"Well, Ma, you see the flight down out of the tree was fun,..........at first.  Then, I realized that I wasn't floating like the other spider.  Next, I noticed I did not have that long silver streamer comming out of my rear end.  Finally, I realized that I was in trouble."


Taking a deep breath, Harry continued.  "The ground was coming up fast. There were two of those human animals you warned me about, directly below me.  I tried to let them know I was dropping by, but I guess they don't speak spider.  Anyway, down I came and landed, KER-PLUNK, right on top of one of them."


Harry shuddered as he remembered the horror of what happened next.  "Well," he said, "that is when all hell broke loose!" The one I landed on wasn't very nice.  It started making all kinds of noise (most of which, I am sure, started with their "F" sound) . It was jumping around like a tree branch in a wind storm.  It was screaming so loud that I thought my head would burst.  Suddenly, a part of it flew off (the part I was clinging to) and so did I.  By the way, Ma, did you know that they could shed their skins.  Freaky, huh!  Anyway, I landed in a puddle of mud and tried to scurry off.  That is when I found that legs number two and four weren't working so well.  I haven't a clue why, but the second human was jumping and sreaming too.  It almost stepped on me.  I didn't even come near it at all, honest Ma!  I crawled into a nearby dirty, stinky hole and rested up during the day."


With a dazed look still in his eyes, Harry continued, "I couldn't sleep because of all of the humans walking by, so the next night I started limping my way home.  Every time I saw a human I had to duck into another hiding place.  I was so terrified that I am sure that I lost some of my hair (as he said this he ran one of his working legs across a part of his abdomen to smooth down some of the remaining hairs).  I was almost home when I heard a sound that curdled my blood; I do have blood don't I Ma?  You DID neglect to tell me that I didn't have a para-shoot like the other spider!"


Mother just gave Harry one of her, get on with it, looks and Harry said, "Oh, Yeah, back to the sound."


After taking another deep breath Harry went on, "It was that same human walking down the path.  I froze in abject terror of being found by this fierce creature.  It picked up a rock on the path and flung it into the bush I was hiding behind.  How it knew I was there I do not know.  The rock hit me squarely on the head and bent my mandible.  I may never be able to eat again!" 


Mother spider just stared at her teenage son, and said "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger!"  Then she walked off shaking her head uttering, "Give me strength!"


Harry followed her spouting phrases like, "Ma, can we move? It's dangerous here!"  "I'm never leaving your side again!"


After Harry's last remark you could faintly hear Mother spider say, "Oh, rats!"


kt 2010

#10-FRIDAY FLASHBACKS (Harry and Kallie)

For those of you new followers each Friday I reprint an earlier post.  Sometimes I tweak it a  little sometimes I don't.  

This is something I wrote for my granddaughter stationed in Korea (after she told me about this horrible spider dropping out of a tree onto her shirt). 

I am not going to split this up into parts so stick with me on this to the end....OK?

One May morning two large spiders were climbing through a tall tree at the Osan Air Force Base in Korea.  Mother spider had taken her teenage son out for a night hunt and they were just returning home.  Her son was going on and on about the big exciting world they live in and Mom was mostly ignoring him.

Harry was saying (in spider language, of course), "Ma, oh, Ma, I saw the neatest thing today.  A spider, kinda like me jumped out of a tree and glided to the ground.  It was a thing of beauty!  A long silver streamer trailed behind him and he flew.   He flew, Ma!"

Mom knew it was time to tell her son that he was not equipped for such a feat when the youngster yelled out, "Ma ... ... ... Ma, watch me!" and off the branch he jumped.

"Oh, well," the mother said to herself, "Teenagers!"  "Then again," she thought, "I have been trying to get him to leave home for ages!"

Days went by and the mother spider did not see (or miss) her son.  Finally, one night, she heard him dragging himself up the tree to their home.  He was a frightful mess.  Also, he was limping on two of his six furry legs and had dirt and grime all over what was once shiny brown hair.  One mandible was even bent.

Mother asked, "Well, Harry, where have you been?  I couldn't hold dinner forever.  I had it all wrapped up for you, but when you didn't show I gave it to your younger brothers."  Harry plopped down beside his mother and sighed.

"Well, Ma, you see the flight down out of the tree was fun...........at first.  Then, I realized that I wasn't floating like the other spider.  Next, I noticed I did not have that long silver streamer coming out of my rear end.  Finally, I realized that I was in trouble."

Taking a deep breath, Harry continued.  "The ground was coming up fast. There were two of those human animals you warned me about, directly below me.  I tried to let them know I was dropping by, but I guess they don't speak spider.  Anyway, down I came and landed, KER-PLUNK, right on top of one of them."

Harry shuddered as he remembered the horror of what happened next.  "Well," he said, "that is when all hell broke loose!" The one I landed on wasn't very nice.  It started making all kinds of noise (most of which, I am sure, started with their "F" sound). It was jumping around like a tree branch in a wind storm.  It was screaming so loud that I thought my head would burst.  Suddenly, a part of it flew off (the part I was clinging to) and so did I.  By the way, Ma, did you know that they could shed their skins.  Freaky, huh!  Anyway, I landed in a puddle of mud and tried to scurry off.  That is when I found that legs number two and four weren't working so well.  I haven't a clue why, but the second human was jumping and screaming too.  It almost stepped on me.  I didn't even come near it at all, honest Ma!  I crawled into a nearby dirty, stinky hole and rested up during the day."

With a dazed look still in his eyes, Harry continued, "I couldn't sleep because of all of the humans walking by, so the next night I started limping my way home.  Every time I saw a human I had to duck into another hiding place.  I was so terrified that I am sure that I lost some of my hair (as he said this he ran one of his working legs across a part of his abdomen to smooth down some of the remaining rumpled hairs).  I was almost home when I heard a sound that curdled my blood; I do have blood don't I Ma?  You DID neglect to tell me that I didn't have a para-shoot like the other spider!"

Mother just gave Harry one of her, get on with it, looks and Harry said, "Oh, Yeah, back to the sound."

After taking another deep breath Harry went on, "It was that same human walking down the path.  I froze in abject terror of being found by this fierce creature.  It picked up a rock on the path and flung it into the bush I was hiding behind.  How it knew I was there I do not know.  The rock hit me squarely on the head and bent my mandible.  I may never be able to eat again!" 

Mother spider just stared at her teenage son, and said "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger!"  Then she walked off shaking her head uttering, "Give me strength!"

Harry followed her spouting phrases like, "Ma, can we move? It's dangerous here!"  "I'm never leaving your side again!"

After Harry's last remark you could faintly hear Mother spider say, "Well, Sh_ _!"

kt 2010

#5 I'VE GOT ANTS (part 5 of 5)

                               If you are starting here then STOP.  
                          Scroll down to #1 where it actually starts

The Finale (and you are thinking...finally).

Before starting the "smashing" campaign I wrote out a Bill of Promises for the ants:

     1.  I will not squeal out, "DIE, YOU B..." (or whatever) as I squash
          them.

     2.  I will not smile and enjoy the process.

     3.  If ants are still wiggling after the smashing maneuver I will go
          in for a second smash and put it out  of its misery.

     4.  I will give ants showing bravery, exceptional evasive moves,
          or other enterprising traits a chance to go outside.

     5.  I will keep my counters as clean as humanly possible so as
          not to tempt ants (yeah, right!).

Funny thing though, before I could finish writing the diatribe, I saw an ant sitting on the top of the lidded ketchup bottle.  It appeared to be surveying what I was writing.  I gave her (because all worker ants are female, that must be why they are so successful) time to finish reading and said, "Well, what do you think?"  I watched the small creature march down the ketchup bottle, up my pen, and onto my finger (poor thing must have been near sighted).  I briefly considered that it might actually be trying to communicate with me.  NO!  COULDN'T BE......... then I quickly put her outside. 

Now, before you call me crazy (ok, I know you have already thought that several times) let me tell you thet I no longer have an over supply of ants.  Once in a while a rogue ant will race across the table or the counter.  But they are no longer here in mass.

Think what you want but, I am here to tell you that ANTS HAVE LEARNED TO READ.  We humans had best be careful how we treat them because THEY could GET EVEN!

kt 2010

#4 I'VE got ants! (part 4 of 5)

                              If you are starting here then STOP.  

                          Scroll down to #1 where it actually starts.

(Ok, where was I?  Oh, yes, I was going to write about beginning negotiations with the ants.  Also, if you started with THIS post you must scroll down to part 1 and start at the beginning or this won't make sense.)

So, I loudly proclaimed (8) to the ants in my kitchen that I would not hurt them if they would PLEASE just step outside, AND STAY THERE!

The ants did not listen to me and returned the next day, only WITH MORE RECRUITS.  This time they were all over the place (except of course, the floor).  I ranted and raved; growled and hollered at them, "DIE YOU B...(well, you fill in the blanks).  This tack was not working.

I scoured my counter tops three times a day, and they still kept coming.  I smeared liquid soap on the counters,which did slow them down  only because I think they had to detour through the bathroom.  However, later that day, I forgot and made a sandwich on that same counter.  I was given a nasty surprise (9).  DARN THOSE ANTS!

I don't like chemical warfare so ant poison was not an option.  The very memory of having taken a bite of soap marinated sandwich told me that poison would be something I should avoid (shudder).

Also, I do not like watching them writhe in their death throws from pesticides.  I mean, the soap would only give them diarrhea (hence the detour through the bathroom), but, poison, well, is poison.  So smashing seemed be the only acceptable method of extermination.

Teaser:  Part 5 of 5 contains the ants "Bill of Promises."

#3 I've GOT ants (part 3 of 5)

        If you are starting here then STOP.  

   Scroll down to #1 where it actually starts.

Why should I feel guilty (Oh, yes, it is Disney's fault)?  It's not like ants are on an endangered species list. They aren't fuzzy with wagging tails and big soulful brown eyes.  They aren't cuddly or cute but they do perform a service for nature.  (3) Ants have a job to do.  They are one of the many insects that have the nasty job of cleaning up the messes that we humans make.  After all they take out the trash on a regular basis (which is more than I could say for myself, or my kids when they were young)!

I kind of admire the way ants (4) work diligently and march out into a world that holds many perils for a creature of this minute size.  They don't appear to be daunted by their lot in life. They see the prize and carry it off, one piece at a time.  Some survive, some do not, but the colony goes on.  Very altruistic!

One day, tired of finding ants raiding my trash can, I decided (5) to put the ant attracting morsels in a separate bag and tie it up around a cupboard doorknob (intending to put it out after dinner and maybe training the ants to go outside to eat).  When I returned to the sack thirty minutes later it was swarming with little busy bodies.  I would really like to know how they found it so fast.  Did one little ant look up and ponder, "Well, that's new, I wonder what she has up there?"  Did it make several attempts to find a way up to the (6) hanging feast or did it go directly there (following it’s little ant nose)? Once there, did it go back down, (laying a trail of bread crumbs like Hansel and Gretel) and tell the others of its miraculous find?  Or did one clumsy ant fall off the cupboard and accidentally plunge into the gourmet meal?  Then it next pondered is how to get the message to its fellow scavengers (7)?  Do they have little ant whistles hanging around their necks, or maybe little cell phones?   

So far 7 ants have bit the dust while I was writing this “ANT ENCOUNTER” documentary.  Then I saw one small ant carrying a piece of cracker two times larger than it’s body.  I marveled at how it found its way around the items on the table and was steadfastly heading toward the south end of the table.  Every time I placed something in its path it quickly detoured around it and continued south.  This was enough to earn a reprieve.  So I lured it onto a napkin and took it outside as a reward for its Herculean attempt at food gathering.  Of course the poor thing found itself outside, in a pile of dirt without the morsel of cracker.  Did it cuss me out or simply go around to the original point of entry and try again?

On to part 4... ... ...

#2 I've got ANTS (part 2 of 5)

        If you are starting here then STOP.  

   Scroll down to #1 where it actually starts.

 OK, I admit it,  I am a mediocre housekeeper who leaves one small morsel of food on the counter ( ok, two….ALLRIGHT, ALRIGHT so how about using the word some).  Within the hour this tiny speck of food is descended upon by a hoard of ants.  It's not like they couldn't have scarffed up the bits of food that have dropped to the floor.  NO!  That would be too easy. They are on my counter.  I guess they like clean leftovers and the stuff on the floor is beneath them (literally and figuratively).  As I watch the long line of scurrying animals they look like starving refugees who suddenly found themselves at an all you can eat buffet.  I'll bet they even have their tiny little doggie bags tucked under their little appendages.

              

The ant can be credited for phenomenal communication and organizational skills.  Some enterprising scout ant stumbles over a find and does what?  Yells, "Hey, Guys, over hear." Suddenly, conga line of industrious ants converge on the mother of all grand feast and get to work.  The fact is they actually lay down a little chemical trail to lead their CLAN to the find.

However, they will get no kudos from me for their intelligence.  Because as I was writing this an ant traipsed across my paper, never even giving a thought to the huge giant sitting there who was poised to render a crushing blow. Then, as the squashing maneuver begins, the ant suddenly glances up and races off (in a zigzag pattern) as if it had just noticed the peril for the first time.  One (1) down and so many more to go.

It's when I actually saw one look up at me before fleeing that I began to feel guilty - yes, you read right, guilty.  (2)...(the numbers depict another ant dispatched) I guess I have been affected by all of those Disney or Pixar movies that show insects with human characteristic. I think that is called personification.

Gotta go (part 3 will coming soon).

#1 I've got ants! (part 1 of 5)

I have ants, lots of ants! Tiny, little, black, shiny things marching across my kitchen counter.  So, what's up with these tiny little creatures? 

 Haven't they heard of the great outdoors? Don't they know about all of the picnics going on out there?  Haven't they visited the local garbage dump?  Why do they have to invade MY kitchen?

Now I am a peaceful, nature loving person who looks upon all life as being precious (even ants).  I have been known to (carefully) scoop up wayward spiders and escort them in to a much better echo system (which lies outside my front door).  Most people think I'm nuts to do this, but I respect the job the spiders do in keeping down the bug population (all except my house ants, of course). 

This is part 1 of a continuing story....so stay tuned.    :)