MY V.I.P. FILE

There was an error in this gadget

Monday, February 28, 2011

#142/#144-A MAIDEN VOYAGE aka THE TATTOO VIRGIN

(1/26/11 @ 1:PM) THOSE DARNED POLTERGEISTS STRUCK AGAIN!  WHEN I FINALLY CHECKED AT 1:00 PM THIS ONE HADN'T POSTED.  I SO WANTED EVERYONE TO GET TO SEE MY TATTOO. THAT MADE ME DECIDED TO POST THIS AGAIN ON THE 28TH!  kt
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(1/27/11 @ 5PM) OK, NOW THIS HAS TO STOP!  I JUST CHECKED MY BLOG AND THERE WAS MY TATTOO POST.  NEXT, I CHECKED THE SCHEDULED DATE AND IT READS 1/28/11...6AM...  BELIEVE ME I AM GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE AN EXERCISM (EVEN THOUGHT I'M NOT CATHOLIC) BECAUSE THIS REALLY PISSES TICKS ME OFF! (I'M PUTTING IT BACK ON THE 28TH!) kt
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, I said I was going to get a tattoo on my 70th birthday.  But, it didn't work out that day.  You see, February 4th was the day after the biggest snow story of the quarter century hit Missouri and the Slippery Monkey (the tattoo parlor) was closed.  In fact, even McDonalds was closed (now that's some snow storm).
This is what the road to his place looked like (well, kind of).
And to yourself you said, "Wait a minute.  Run that name by me again." You read it right.  SLIPPERY MONKEY (as in the monkey on your back).  According to Helpme.com (and an article I found there) the mind is a tree and in this tree there is a monkey and a bird.  From Walt Whitman's Song of Myself,  "The monkey, called the slippery monkey, races about, chattering constantly. If one can silence the monkey then the bird sings."..."By stilling the slippery monkey and hearing the song of the bird one gains enlightenment shedding the ego in order to attain enlightenment in Buddhism."  Other sites refer to the slipping the monkey of addiction off one's back. (See, one can get a classical education reading my blog.)
This is his logo!  That monkey looks more mad then slippery.










Any way when I googled Slippery Monkey, I came up with well over 10 sites about this particular tattoo business in my home town.   
So, a week before my tattoo, I went in, talked with the owner, and picked out my tattoo. 









The owner, Harold, looked like he just jumped off a chopper on his way back from Woodstock.  But, what surprised me is that he is a very conservative man with strong moral values.  You see, I am not immune to stereotyping either (although I thought I was)













I asked Harold if I should take something for the pain.  His response was, "Take a couple of aspirins or a shot of tequila."  I shuttered to think of what I might choose to do if Tequila were introduced into the mix.  So, I opted for Tylenol.

And, this is Harold!  I put life and LIMB (literally) in his hands.
Over a week later, Harold had the parking lot cleared and I ventured into the devils den (according to some of the people in my church).  Undaunted, I popped up into the chair and offered him my right ankle.  He described the THOUSANDS of needle pricks that would be necessary as he proceeded to prepare his pallet of needles.  He poured what looked like poster paint into little tubs that fit onto the needles.  He looked at me over his GLASSES and said, "Well?"  Totally unfazed by the lecture and the sight of the six or so needles I said, "Go for it!"  Not too original, I know, but that is all I could come up with.  I was busy thinking, "Mannnnnn, this is gonna hurt!"

Harold's mouth (and needles) never stopped moving the entire time.
But, to my surprise, it didn't hurt at all!  Not that it really mattered because I was determined to get this done even if I had to bite down on a tree limb.  It kind of stung once in a while but, Harold kept me busy listening to his continuous running commentary on everything from the environment to teenagers today.


Now, I am the proud wearer of my first (and probably last) tattoo.  However, my shoulder would look cute with a small butterfly on it....(I'll save that for my 80th birthday).


I did think about covering all my wrinkles with tattoos, but then I would look something like the Illustrated Man Woman.  No, don't think that would go over too well in this small town.  


When my daughter showed my nine year old granddaughter my tattoo, Shay said, "THAT'S CRAZY."  Well, maybe  it is, and maybe I am but, I have definitely decided that I AM going to do some of the things I have always wanted to do.  As I said before, my new mantra is, "Adventure Before Dementia"(after this tattoo some people think I am already too late).


Oh, I almost forgot did you want to see it?????  
Now I don't even have to shave...keen, huh!
at least I won't have to shave as often!

OK...OK....HERE IT IS:


See how tame this looks after showing you the first one.
Smart huh!

kt 2/2011