Have I told you abut the lady who lost her cell phone in her bedroom? Well, it seams that she looses her cell phone frequently and a while back she purchased a throw away just for the purpose of locating her lost phone.
She quickly retrieved the "finder" phone and called her regular phone (which was on speed dial). Positioning herself in the central hall of the house she was poised to spent in the direction of a ringing phone. And there it was, coming from the direction of her bedroom. Off she went at break neck speed because her phone would only ring four times before going to voice mail (a problem she tried to get remedied several times). Plopping herself down on her bed in the middle of her room she dialed again and waited for her phone to ring.
There it was again, the, now muted sound of her phone ringing. She jumped up and the sound got louder so she ripped off the bedding in a frantic search for the wayward phone. As she was tossing the bed she realized that the ringing sound was coming from behind her. By the time she whirled around the ringing stopped. So she then looked in drawers, under the bed and so on and so on. She called her darned phone over 5 times. Every time it sounded as if it was close and right behind her.
Finally, she gave up and as she put her hands on her ample hips she exclaimed, "Ok, God, where is it?" At just that moment her right fist felt a bulge at her right hip. "Oh!" she exclaimed as she realized she had clipped her phone to the back part of her pants.
True story and, OH, BY THE WAY THE LADY WAS ME!
As Buggs Bunny would say, "What a Maroon." (no not Moron...Maroon).