MY V.I.P. FILE

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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

#68-WHAT'S WHOOPEE ANYWAY?

"One of my friends (Clenna) sent me this and I enjoyed a big lol because I was thinking along similar lines. I say similar because I might resort to this "IF" I could choose which person got to pat me down.  Then I had multiple, consecutive flashbacks of the times I went thought the security line and the individuals who were there manning those lines.  NOPE!  Don't remember a single one that tripped my trigger, floated my boat, or even tickled my fancy.

You see, I have been divorced (from my 2nd husband) for 40 years and haven't even had a date since 1976 (let alone any whoopee.....  yes, whoopee, remember this is a "G" rated blog).  I looked back at my life and wondered, "How did that happen?"  I really thought I would remarry after my second divorce.  Yes, you read right (both times).  I didn't mistype  "2nd" and that, dear friends, is another story. 

Well, after my last divorce my children were young and I just couldn't face the prospect of reentering the dating game.
              "But,"  I said to myself, " I do miss the whoopee."


When my children got a little older I lived in Los Angeles and I didn't like what I saw out there.  Dating could be dangerous.
              I said to myself, "I  can live without whoopee."


Then I moved to a small town in Missouri I found that there were no suiters available, at least any in which I was interested.  The only good ones were already taken and the others had to be drug out of the gutter and cleaned up.
          At this point I said to myself, "I don't want whoopee that bad!"


When the kids started moving out and away, I thought that maybe it was time for me to remarry.  However, I didn't want to marry someone only to have to nurse him for the rest of my life.
          I said to myself, "Big deal, whoopee is over rated."


Now that I am retired I realized that if I found someone now, I wouldn't be able to get naked (or for that matter see him naked).
          I said to myself, "Hey, old gal, you don't even want whoopee!"


So, here I sit, typing this blog.  I have few major interactions with the world.  Therefore, I understand this cartoon completely.
          So, I say to myself, "Well.  So this is what WHOOPEE has become!"  Oh, well, maybe I'll get lucky on my next flight to the East Coast! 

POST SCRIPT: Currently, I am taking care of my 99 year old father.  There is some IRONY in that isn't there?  I did not remarry, but the end game is the same as I am taking care of an old man who I have to give baths!

2010 kt