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Monday, February 21, 2011

#137-THE RELUCTANT JUROR

(A reminder the giveaway ends on February 28th at midnight - see #117 on 2/1 for details)


I actually would like to serve on a jury, however I'll bet they erased my name from the prospective jury list just after the one and only time I was called (about 5 years ago).
Robert thought, "I knew she was going to be trouble the minute she walked in the door.!"
You see, I had paid, nonrefundable tickets to visit my daughter and her family that summer.  Wouldn't you know that is when I get a summons to jury duty (and it is the only one I have ever received in my whole life).

I tried every thing I could to get someone to allow me to explain how I could be excused from serving, this time.  But, I got nowhere.  I had to show up to the first day and go through the process (which they have sense changed, probably because of me).  So, I show up two days before my departure date and sit with about 50 other potential jurors.

This was really ridiculous because there was a couple of derelicts, a compulsive knitter, and crippled guy sitting next to me who kept groaning. I complained to the bailiff for him and was told to sit down and be quiet.  I knew the drill because I used to be a courtroom clerk when I lived in California but, this was a court in a small town (and if you haven’t lived in a small town I couldn’t begin to explain it to you).  So, I took advantage of my knowledge and went into action.

When asked if we knew anyone involved with the case I raised my hand and pointed to the arresting officer and said, “Yes, he used to be a student of mine.  Such a sweet kid.  Hi, David.”  


Then I pointed to the prosecuting attorney and said, “ My son went to school with Robert, and they used to be best of friends. Hi, Robert, nice to see you again.”  Robert suddenly dropped his head and shook it from side to side.

As the morning wore on I had more opportunity to be certain I wasn’t chosen.  When they asked if there were any reason we couldn’t serve I raised my hand (Robert’s head flopped down again.  He knew there was more to come).  I told the court about my non-refundable airline tickets.  I went on to say that I wouldn’t be a very good juror if I was thinking about how much money it cost me to serve,  how I wasn’t going to get to see my grandchildren, and how I couldn’t afford another ticket.

They had a chance to excuse me and the crippled guy, but no, we ALL had to return after the lunch break.

That is when I really came to life.  Now, pay attention because this case was really stupid!   The victim had property damage to his car that was done by the accused.  WAIT FOR IT...The accused was once married to the victim’s wife.  (Here’s where it gets funny).  The accused was having a hard time, lost his job, etc. etc.  The victim and his wife (the ex) asked him (the accused) to come and live with them (are you getting this so far?).  One night (TO MY SURPRISE– yeah, right) a fight broke out at their place.  The accused got mad and took a sledge hammer to the victim’s automobile.  The police were called, charges were filed and the case was set for jury trial…tomorrow!

I couldn’t believed what I was hearing.  So when the Judge asked if there was anyone here who thought they could not render a fair and unbiased verdict Robert dropped his head even before I raised my hand.  Robert kept his head down and slowly shook it when the Judge (who apparently was slow to learn) asked me to explain why.  This is kind of what I said:
“Frankly Judge, I think this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard .  If these two people (pointing to the victims) were stupid enough to invite the EX to live with them then they should suffer the consequences of their decision.  This is a complete waist of the court’s time, my time, the tax payers money and this poor guy sitting next to me.  This should have been settled out of court and I should be home packing for my trip!” 
Every one in the potential pool either laughed, snickered, or smiled (I think they wanted to applaud).  By the way, I was released from jury duty! ( I think that my comments tainted the jury pool but the case went on without me).  I'm a baaaaaaaddddd girl.  But, NOTHING will keep me from seeing my grandchildren!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LETS TRY THIS AGAIN.







Is this story 100% true, partly true, or a total fabrication?  
Let me know what you think when you comment.
kt2011