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Monday, September 12, 2011

#208 - ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?

Ok, I received an award and really don't know what it's for.


I checked the online dictionary and no surprise; there is no such word.  So, I broke down the word in order to ascertain it's meaning.  My first attempt gave me the answer.   Lie bs ter.  Ahhhhh, I get it.  

"er"= a person who...
lie = telling something that is not true
bs = bull Sh*!   (guess I could have said poo).
So, does the heart mean it's given with love? Haven't a clue.

(A week attempt at poetry and notice the nice pyramid it makes.)
(And for you who have compulsive/obsessive issues....Yes, I know I left the "T" out)

In reality, this award is actually a reward for fabricating.  Hummmmm,  this means that possibly there are those who may not believe my blog contains stories that are NOT completely true.  I'm shocked!
You mean that no one believes that I accidentally s stapled my glove to my hand (see What A Maroon), glued my foot to the floor (see A Sticky Situation), or burned a hole in my night gown (see #Recipe For Disaster)?  Oh, mannnnn, this HURTS as they are ALL true ;{
So spread the love!


Here are the rules:
1. Thank the giver
2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog-and follow them!
3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
4. Have faith that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.
5. And most of all - have bloggity-blog fun!



That's it?  No embarrassing questions to answer.  Nothing personal to reveal?  Nothing humiliating?  I don't have to share with the world the unusual shape of the birth mark on my butt?


So, should I thank the giver?  What the HECK!  Thanks, Donna at Weaving A Tale or Two.

1,3,and 5 are taken care of. Number 4 is a given because all of my followers spread the love daily. Where I have problems is number 2.   I have to pick 5 out of the dozens of contenders for the award.  And there in the problem.  Most of the bloggers I read do not accept awards.  I end up giving them to the same bloggers over and over which really isn't fair to them.  These things take a lot of time (I have been working on this for over 6 hours...No lie....6 hours).

"Rules are for sissies!"
And here is what everyone reading this is waiting for....  How in the heck is she going to change this one?  The minute the phrase, "Here are the rules:" popped up, my mind froze and the sound of screeching tires echoed inside my head.  I swear I could smell the smoke.  Well, some rules are good ones to follow; like to be polite.  But, how can I be polite and accuse choose five BS-ing liars?  

So, I searched through the blogs I follow to see who could possible fit in this category.  And I only found two.  Incidentally they are both men.  I wonder if that means anything????????

Lazarus at The LG Report (Female Like Mewas the first one that came to mind (sorry LG but, I did read your Thursday, July 28th post.  It definitely falls into the BS category).  However, LG does not accept awards.  Probably because he wouldn't have enough space on his blog page to post them...he is that good!  He is ONE OF A KIND.

Nick at Along These Lines (A Tourist’s Guide to Libya) would absolutely fit into the BS category.  His blog is often outrageous and always hilarious.  However, Nick is recovering from surgery and it wouldn't be polite to expect him to respond.  His blog is A VERITABLE SMORGASBORD OF HUMOR.

Ok....I've got one...APRIL, at Confessions of a Terrible Mom (a total misnomer)! Comcast-the cable mafia comes to mind.  I am sure that some of her posts are a blend of truth and lies exaggerations.  A person can't be as funny as April  without STRETCHING the truth a little.  Ok, I am sending this award to her.  Nope, can't, April is cutting back on her blog time since school started (she home schools her kids).  SO APRIL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS AWARD.

Next, I thought of Melynda at Crazy World boxing with boys 
and her buddy Elisa at The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom Miss Priss and “The Wave”.
I mean,  mannnnn, these two gals are absolutely NUTS (which is something I can identify with).  One might think that there is some fabricating or truth stretching going in there somewhere, but after reading them for a while I am beginning that this is actually their wild and crazy life.  When someone com
es up with an "ABSOLUTELY BONKERS" award THEY are getting it (so is fishducky if and when she starts to blog).

It breaks my heart but, I could only find one person to send this to, and she won't have time to accept.  The rest of the bolggers I follow are too sweet and innocent to fall in this category.  Therefore I must forfeit the $1,000,000.00 that came with this award.  And, unfortunately no one else will get it either (Ohhhhhhhhh, so sorry! As Jim Fay would say...Jim Fay’s Love and Logic).


But, I do have a tip for all of you out there... ... ... 
DON'T SEND KT AN AWARD BECAUSE SHE WILL ALWAYS            
SCREW WITH IT!
kt 8/11/2011