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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

#61-PARANIOA (The "Tighty Whities" Story)

Did your mother ever tell you to ALWAYS wear clean undies in case you are in an accident?  Well, my mother drilled it into my mind most of my life.  This, hopefully explains my behavior in this next story (which occurred in the late 80s).  ALSO 100% TRUE!

Well, how else was I going to illustrate this one?  They don't exactly have tighty whities in clip art.
    And, yes, that's my foot!  No, that's not my underwear!      (I had to buy a pair to photograph)
One morning I found my underpants drawer empty as I was rushing to get dressed.  As usual, I was running late.  Rather than put on a pair of pants from the hamper (which my mother told me NEVER to do) I went to my college age son’s room and borrowed a pair of his white jockey shorts.  They were snug, but they would work.
Once out of the house and on the road I suddenly discovered that my mind was stuck on the idea that, somehow, someone would find out that I was wearing men’s underwear.  I began to think about being in an accident (thanks, Mom), getting sick and having to go to the hospital, or someone seeing my choice of panties through a crack in the bathroom door.  I ran dozen of scenarios through my mind all the way to work, all morning at work, and well into the afternoon.
When school was out, lest I tempt fate again on the drive home, I went to the restroom, removed the offending undies, and put them in the trash.  However, then I worried about someone finding out that I was going commando. 
What’s my point?  I HAVE NO IDEA.  We all do these silly little things and worry about what others might think.  Would anyone have even noticed?  (Probably not).  Would anyone have even cared if they did notice?  (Probably not).  So, why do we humans torture ourselves with these "little" things?  Because we’re just that, human.  (However, I vowed to never wear men’s briefs ever again).

Do you have any SILLY things that you worry about?  Tell me, please, I don't want to feel that I am the only one who does this kind of stuff.