MY V.I.P. FILE

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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

#68-WHAT'S WHOOPEE ANYWAY?

"One of my friends (Clenna) sent me this and I enjoyed a big lol because I was thinking along similar lines. I say similar because I might resort to this "IF" I could choose which person got to pat me down.  Then I had multiple, consecutive flashbacks of the times I went thought the security line and the individuals who were there manning those lines.  NOPE!  Don't remember a single one that tripped my trigger, floated my boat, or even tickled my fancy.

You see, I have been divorced (from my 2nd husband) for 40 years and haven't even had a date since 1976 (let alone any whoopee.....  yes, whoopee, remember this is a "G" rated blog).  I looked back at my life and wondered, "How did that happen?"  I really thought I would remarry after my second divorce.  Yes, you read right (both times).  I didn't mistype  "2nd" and that, dear friends, is another story. 

Well, after my last divorce my children were young and I just couldn't face the prospect of reentering the dating game.
              "But,"  I said to myself, " I do miss the whoopee."


When my children got a little older I lived in Los Angeles and I didn't like what I saw out there.  Dating could be dangerous.
              I said to myself, "I  can live without whoopee."


Then I moved to a small town in Missouri I found that there were no suiters available, at least any in which I was interested.  The only good ones were already taken and the others had to be drug out of the gutter and cleaned up.
          At this point I said to myself, "I don't want whoopee that bad!"


When the kids started moving out and away, I thought that maybe it was time for me to remarry.  However, I didn't want to marry someone only to have to nurse him for the rest of my life.
          I said to myself, "Big deal, whoopee is over rated."


Now that I am retired I realized that if I found someone now, I wouldn't be able to get naked (or for that matter see him naked).
          I said to myself, "Hey, old gal, you don't even want whoopee!"


So, here I sit, typing this blog.  I have few major interactions with the world.  Therefore, I understand this cartoon completely.
          So, I say to myself, "Well.  So this is what WHOOPEE has become!"  Oh, well, maybe I'll get lucky on my next flight to the East Coast! 

POST SCRIPT: Currently, I am taking care of my 99 year old father.  There is some IRONY in that isn't there?  I did not remarry, but the end game is the same as I am taking care of an old man who I have to give baths!

2010 kt

5 comments:

  1. You're right about choosing who would do the pat downs but I think if I picked him (he wouldn't have picked me!) So it might be enjoyable for me but the poor guy - I'm sure he'd go home and say OMG I had to pat down this old broad and she certainly didn't look or feel like any 30 yr old chick!

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  2. I think this is my favorite posting of yours so far! It's so funny, well written, and honest! But I say, never give up on future whoopee! We knew an 80 something year old widower gentleman...my husband taught him how to use a computer and do email. He got on classmates.com and looked up an old grade school friend, a widow now, and they ended up getting married and he moved to Florida to be with her! See, you're still a kid compared to him!

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  3. Wow! I don't ever want to live with anyone again, but I sure miss the 'whoopee', too. Each time I am tempted to date some mouth breather in the hopes that they are a 'hidden' Don Juan I just remind myself of all the things about the opposite sex that annoys the crap out of me- their icky feet, turning their nose up at a huge meal that took 3 hours to make to eat chips and dip in front of the TV instead, SNORING!! Heck, with some people I have dated their existence became an annoyance. Yup, it is going to be me, my books and lots of chocolate for eternity...*sigh*

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  4. This is one of my favorite posts - about a gal who always makes her own choices, and amusingly endures what life dishes out! (I hope your Dad will be on the Today show at 100! My grandmother (90 years young) loves that segment!)

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  5. I love your political cartoon-styled art insert :D

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