INFORMATION YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE I TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED ON WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6TH:
Early last fall, my 32 year old granddaughter (daughter of my son's wife by a previous marriage) had to leave her husband. This granddaughter has had so many problems that I can't begin to discuss them here, however, she had turned her life round. BUT, her husband hadn't turned his life around and this fall he was arrested AGAIN for a drug related charge. My granddaughter, having had enough, moved out. Only, she didn't make enough money to support herself and her two children (boys 4 and 5). So, she arranged to move in with a friend (6 hours away from where she was living). On her way to her friends (to check out the situation) her car broke down about 20 miles from her destination.
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| Imagine a Toyota Rav 4 filled to capacity inside, with stuff tied on top. |
Ok, there she is up north and all seems OK. She met a nice man and everything was going great for a while. They were actually talking about getting married when it all fell apart. So at 10:30AM, Wednesday (4/6/11), I get a call from my granddaughter. "Grandma, Brian and I broke up, I can't find a job up here and I'm coming home." She went on to say, "You know that Mom and Dad have the house all torn up renovating and we can't stay there. Can we move in with you?"
I was speechless and it took me a few minutes to regain my composure after an immediate flashback of the last time the boys stayed with me. She apparently didn't notice the noise of my head crashing against the wall of my den as I tried to beat some sense into my brain before the word YES popped out of my mouth. But, the tactic didn't work and soon I was saying OK.......
"Great!" replied my granddaughter, "The boys and I will be coming down tonight pulling a trailer full of my stuff." Yep, she was bringing back all that STUFF that I had just taken up there only a few months ago; and it was going into my garage with the rest of her STUFF that is still in there. "Oh," she said, "we are also bringing our pets." My eyes snapped open, my jaw went slack, and I went into a semi conscious state that animals slip into when they have experienced trauma. In my brain somewhere I could hear her say, "We have a parakeet, but we used to have two. We gave the other one away."
(Good tactic, made it sound like I was getting a great deal because she ONLY HAD ONE!) Then my brain picked up on a funny little pause and then she said, "We, also, have a Ferret, but, he has had his sent gland taken out." (Oh, great, that mens that he still STINKS but not as much.) "And, when Brian was feeding the snake..." (At that point I think I messed my pants)..."I just couldn't let him feed these 4 little darlings to that thing, so we have 4 pet mice, too." (By that time I was laying on my bed with a cold compress on my eyes. With the compress, the slight tick was barely noticeable.) I gathered up some strength to forceably state, "You're not bring THAT SNAKE into my house." She replied, "Of course not, the snake belongs to Brian."
After lunch I spent the entire day running round the town getting applications to various health care facilities (she is a CNA+ whatever), applications for child care, and a home for the mentally insane (for me).
Well, Leanna, her 2 boys (Logan and Draven), George (the parakeet), Bug-A-Boo (the ferret), Big Momma, Brownie, Stewart, and Co-Co (the mice) arrived at 12:30 AM Thursday, April 7th.
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| Logan, Draven and Bug-A-Boo |
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| Big Mama kissing Stuart (I guess you know what that means). |
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| George (being quiet for a change) |
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| ME, LOOSING MY MIND! |
Friday, I had her filling out the applications I had picked up yesterday and drove her around dropping them off. Her mother, bless her heart, took the boys to work with her yesterday and today.
The boys don't have beds yet but that might be a moot point because it appears that she may have a job
WORKING NIGHTS! (I hope that childcare application goes through as I think it is illegal to lock children in closets - I know nailing their feet to the floor is.)
By the time this posts we will be into the 3rd week of this new arrangement. I may be in jail by then, because if my one more person says, "God will not give us more than he knows we can handle," I will probably slug them.
Come and visit me whenever you can (either here or.........)
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| AT OUR LOCAL NUT HOUSE! |
.......kt 4/13/11
Well, I've heard that some jails aren't that bad! But, if you're in the nut house, I hope the walls are nice and padded. I'll just say, "May God give you strength!! Lots and lots of strength." (And, I'm so excited to see you have my button. giggle. A first. giggle giggle!)
ReplyDeleteThis is the post I've been waiting for, ever since you mentioned your granddaughter had moved in and added, "she's not alone!"
ReplyDeleteOh, my goodness, Karen! This is certainly a lot to have taken on at this stage of your life and I know it can't be easy (that's probably putting it mildly!) - I have suspected for quite some time that your heart is far too firmly cemented in the right place as far as others are concerned and that you put your own needs right at the bottom of the pile.
I honestly don't know what to say! Even for me to say that perhaps you should have said, "No way!" is absurd, as I know just how difficult/well nigh impossible that would have been under the circumstances. Shame, it's not as though you were given a choice. It was rather thrust upon you!
The fact remains, though, this is your granddaughter's problem. It's her life and these are her obligations and responsibilities, not yours, much as you love her and your little grandsons. She needs to realise this and do everything in her power to improve her current situation. Hopefully she is being as helpful and responsible as possible and fulfilling her duties and obligations to her little boys as far as she is able to, given that (for now) she remains totally dependent on your & her parents' support, until she is gainfully employed and earning a livable salary.
I truly do not know how you are managing with all you already contend with (your Dad, Toby etc) and it would not surprise me if you do end up insane or in jail...I know I would battle to cope with all you're having to do! I sincerely hope that the situation improves/changes for the better/best as soon as possible. Failing that, then I hope you've established a set of clearly defined ground rules and that this is not all falling on your shoulders! You need to be strict about this, Karen!
The little boys look adorably cute and their ferret looks so happy and well-loved. I hope Big Mama doesn't produce another set of babies and that the bird soon learns to sing your favourite songs!
Your telling of this was outstanding, so well balanced with the right amount of humour and revealing enough of the hard reality of the situation to make us all fully aware this is no picnic! I salute you, Karen and I think you're an incredibly selfless, kind human being, daughter, mother and grandmother. I hope you will be given some quality time to yourself, in between all you're dealing with right now. For the meantime though, I suspect that beneath all the attendant frustration & simmering stress etc. you're probably rather enjoying those two little boys, at least part of the time ;)
I hope things work out in the best way for everyone!
Take care!
With love & hugs,
Des xoxo
Dear Karen,
ReplyDeleteHave I told you that all of my siblings have lived with me at one point or another? Just got the last one out 2 months ago. although my situation is not even close to yours I feel your pain! I have 2 ferrets and you are right. Even descented they still smell! Maybe you should leave them all there and go find an apartment of your own. don't leave a number or return address.You can't fail! lol Seriously though it just shows what a huge heart you have and what a great person you are that she would even ask. I'm so glad I am getting to know you although we seem to live paralel lives, so it's pretty easy to get to know you. haha. Slug away at the next person that says that. Or stick your tongue out and say fine you move in and take care of them all and we shall see how much YOU can handle.
Oh wow! That certainly is a lot for you to take on!
ReplyDeleteI admire your bravery!
You are amazing!
ReplyDelete:) You´re great! I admire you! R
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is.....OMG!
ReplyDeleteIt never ends, does it?
Next time when you're on bended knee, ask for help but ask that your granddaughter isn't included in those prayers of help.
...tiptoeing away...she mumbled a silent prayer for her friend Karen.
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked my post yesterday! Your comment made me giggle as usual! i'LL check back in a bit and see if you have posted anything. I have to go put my post up and brush my teeth to get rid of this morning breath before my computer wilts from my dragon breath!!
ReplyDeleteWow did you not have enough stress and responsibilities in your life to keep you busy? You are amazing and I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed that everything works out (without you ending up in the loony bin!)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Desiree. It is an impossible situation for anyone with a heart. I don't believe that claptrap that God only gives you what he thinks you can handle...I DO believe that he has an interesting sense of humor. My prayers will be with you and if all else fails, start some 'medicinal' tippling in the afternoons (kidding).
ReplyDeleteYou certainly have your hands full, but they all look sooooo cute.
ReplyDelete