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Monday, September 12, 2011

#208 - ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?

Ok, I received an award and really don't know what it's for.


I checked the online dictionary and no surprise; there is no such word.  So, I broke down the word in order to ascertain it's meaning.  My first attempt gave me the answer.   Lie bs ter.  Ahhhhh, I get it.  

"er"= a person who...
lie = telling something that is not true
bs = bull Sh*!   (guess I could have said poo).
So, does the heart mean it's given with love? Haven't a clue.

(A week attempt at poetry and notice the nice pyramid it makes.)
(And for you who have compulsive/obsessive issues....Yes, I know I left the "T" out)

In reality, this award is actually a reward for fabricating.  Hummmmm,  this means that possibly there are those who may not believe my blog contains stories that are NOT completely true.  I'm shocked!
You mean that no one believes that I accidentally s stapled my glove to my hand (see What A Maroon), glued my foot to the floor (see A Sticky Situation), or burned a hole in my night gown (see #Recipe For Disaster)?  Oh, mannnnn, this HURTS as they are ALL true ;{
So spread the love!


Here are the rules:
1. Thank the giver
2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog-and follow them!
3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
4. Have faith that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.
5. And most of all - have bloggity-blog fun!



That's it?  No embarrassing questions to answer.  Nothing personal to reveal?  Nothing humiliating?  I don't have to share with the world the unusual shape of the birth mark on my butt?


So, should I thank the giver?  What the HECK!  Thanks, Donna at Weaving A Tale or Two.

1,3,and 5 are taken care of. Number 4 is a given because all of my followers spread the love daily. Where I have problems is number 2.   I have to pick 5 out of the dozens of contenders for the award.  And there in the problem.  Most of the bloggers I read do not accept awards.  I end up giving them to the same bloggers over and over which really isn't fair to them.  These things take a lot of time (I have been working on this for over 6 hours...No lie....6 hours).

"Rules are for sissies!"
And here is what everyone reading this is waiting for....  How in the heck is she going to change this one?  The minute the phrase, "Here are the rules:" popped up, my mind froze and the sound of screeching tires echoed inside my head.  I swear I could smell the smoke.  Well, some rules are good ones to follow; like to be polite.  But, how can I be polite and accuse choose five BS-ing liars?  

So, I searched through the blogs I follow to see who could possible fit in this category.  And I only found two.  Incidentally they are both men.  I wonder if that means anything????????

Lazarus at The LG Report (Female Like Mewas the first one that came to mind (sorry LG but, I did read your Thursday, July 28th post.  It definitely falls into the BS category).  However, LG does not accept awards.  Probably because he wouldn't have enough space on his blog page to post them...he is that good!  He is ONE OF A KIND.

Nick at Along These Lines (A Tourist’s Guide to Libya) would absolutely fit into the BS category.  His blog is often outrageous and always hilarious.  However, Nick is recovering from surgery and it wouldn't be polite to expect him to respond.  His blog is A VERITABLE SMORGASBORD OF HUMOR.

Ok....I've got one...APRIL, at Confessions of a Terrible Mom (a total misnomer)! Comcast-the cable mafia comes to mind.  I am sure that some of her posts are a blend of truth and lies exaggerations.  A person can't be as funny as April  without STRETCHING the truth a little.  Ok, I am sending this award to her.  Nope, can't, April is cutting back on her blog time since school started (she home schools her kids).  SO APRIL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS AWARD.

Next, I thought of Melynda at Crazy World boxing with boys 
and her buddy Elisa at The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom Miss Priss and “The Wave”.
I mean,  mannnnn, these two gals are absolutely NUTS (which is something I can identify with).  One might think that there is some fabricating or truth stretching going in there somewhere, but after reading them for a while I am beginning that this is actually their wild and crazy life.  When someone com
es up with an "ABSOLUTELY BONKERS" award THEY are getting it (so is fishducky if and when she starts to blog).

It breaks my heart but, I could only find one person to send this to, and she won't have time to accept.  The rest of the bolggers I follow are too sweet and innocent to fall in this category.  Therefore I must forfeit the $1,000,000.00 that came with this award.  And, unfortunately no one else will get it either (Ohhhhhhhhh, so sorry! As Jim Fay would say...Jim Fay’s Love and Logic).


But, I do have a tip for all of you out there... ... ... 
DON'T SEND KT AN AWARD BECAUSE SHE WILL ALWAYS            
SCREW WITH IT!
kt 8/11/2011

19 comments:

  1. Hey there KT, congrats on the award. Also, the pic of Toby dog up there is adorable. :) I would snatch him up in a heartbeat.

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  2. The awards I enjoy are comments. I always change the rules.

    Great read.

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  3. Aaah, the Liebster Award - never heard of it, however that doesn't mean I haven't after your great post. Am confused about bloggers rcving awards - how does that even happen?? Perhaps me being the newbie on the block-post :) Anyway kiddo , enjoyed your reasoning as to how you picked the right individuals/individual even though I do not know the above bloggers. Oh heck, change the rules.....WHAT ARE THE RULES....are there any rules. Grab the check and run your butt off. ha,ha
    have a great day
    Lilly

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  4. Changing the rules are so much fun. But you waste tooooo much time over thinking this award thing. Don't pass it on - you just don't have to. I used to worry over those chain letters - oh if I don't send it on to 10 people, I won't get my surprise money, or see someone I haven't seen in years or get something I've been wishing for. (Really! What about the days before internet - you think I wouldn't get any surprise money, surprise visits or my wish? Give me a break!) Anyway, back to your reward - thank the person and let it go.

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  5. You are so hilarious and creative. After those kind words Melynda and I really need to send you that big red gum pronto LOL! Thank you--you made my day :0)

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  6. Whenever your blog shows up on my Reading List, I literally whoop for joy! You have given us such an hilarious post today. I don't think there's a single other soul on earth who is capable of turning the receipt of an award into such an entertaining exercise. I had trouble enough just keeping up with your hyperactive brain gymnastics as you leapt about the mental stage rearranging the set. Karen, you are such a treat! We all LOVE you to bits for the special way in which you enrich our lives with your delightful soul! And I DO NOT think you are a liar! I'm quite hurt about that :(

    Big hug xoxo

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  7. I was so excited to get over here because it's Monday and I knew you were going to be posting. I absolutely love you woman! I wish the stuff I wrote was made up. Man my life would be easier. haha. As usual thank you for starting my monday off with a laugh

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  8. Karen my friend, thanks so much for thinking of me and The LG Report, we are truly touched (of course, people say I'm touched all the time...) As you note, we don't accept awards (and I'm speaking for The LG Report's staff of hundreds of employees... See, I'm lying already!) but appreciate the thought nonetheless. You are a great blogging friend and I appreciate all of your support and kindness. There may not be an award attached to that, but there is my heartfelt appreciation (that must count for something!!!) xoxo, LG! :)

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  9. Thank you for mentioning me, but I am far too shy & reserved to ever start my own blog. I am content with the simple pleasure of driving other people nuts with my comments. How do you x-out mistakes here? I meant to say I AM CONTENT TO POST SINCERE, RESPECTFUL & WELL THOUGHT OUT COMMENTS.

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  10. I may be wrong (what are the odds of THAT?) but I believe "liebster" comes from the German word "lieb" which means "dear, darling, well liked",--all of which you are. See--sincere & respectful--SO THERE!

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  11. You, tell a lie? Never! Ha,ha, ha, ha, ha--just kidding, I think the smoke is clouding your reality!

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  12. Congrats on your famousity Karen. Well deserved.

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  13. LOL! congrats! :) it's always fun with you :)

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  14. If you get a chance you should read my blog today (sat.) it's about three little piggy hoe-ers.

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  15. Congrats on an award that seems particularly appropriate for you. :-)

    Very funny post.

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  16. I had a feeling you would like that story. haha

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  17. So sorry to hear about your Dad. *hugs* Sending prayers and positive vibes your way.

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  18. I am truly sorry to hear your Dad's health is failing him and understand what this means. I realize this is a particularly difficult time for you and want you to know my sincere thoughts are with you. I do hope you have some help, Karen, as you will be needing support. Sending you both lots of love. Big hug. Xoxo

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  19. KT. I'm really sorry to here you're dad's not doing well. I'll keep you in my prayers. Hope he gets well soon. Hang in there.

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