MY V.I.P. FILE

There was an error in this gadget

Friday, November 12, 2010

#41-BETER THAN A FULL MOON

Several years back I used to belong to a singles group. We would take all kinds of fun trips together.  We usually camped out and I had several interesting and very memorable times while with them.  One day in particular is baked into my memory. 


First I need to paint you a picture of a big, plump, split top roll (see visual aide).  You know the kind that is over flowing the edge of its baking cup.  Only, picture it really white, like just before it browns.


Now, you need to picture a middle aged, plump lady PACKED into a spandex swimsuit.  Picture her sitting on the end of a old wooden pier with skis on her feet and a towrope in her hands. 


Well, I was that lady.  Also, I was sucking it in for all it was worth because about 25 members of the group were watching me.  All of them were sure they were going to see a spectacular wipe out (since I hadn't skied in years, and they all knew me to NEVER DISAPPOINT THEIR EXPECTATIONS).


Just as I was yanked off the pier, the rear of my suit snagged on a nail head.  Quicker than the blink of an eye, a hole (the size of a grapefruit) was pulled from my suit.  This hole was right in the middle of the body area which is frequently referred to as "the MOON."


Now, go back to what I first asked you to visualize.  My suit was so tight that only a small portion of that "moon" POPPED out.  I knew immediately that I was exposed and quickly let go of the towline.


I slowly turned in the water to find people sprawled all over the pier, hanging on to each other and laughing until they cried.  They begged me to come out of the water so they could see "IT" again!  For a while they even refused to give me a towel (great friends, huh?)


All that evening (and most of the next day) they described the scene over and over to each other (that's why I know exactly what "IT" looked like).


For some reason I acquired the nick name “MOON MAMA!”  I guess it could have been worse.        100% true                                                                                                                     kt 2010





10 comments:

  1. That is so funny. I'm in stitches visualizing it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really didn't know where you were going at first with the story starting with the picture of the split roll...you are so funny, now I'll never look at a roll like that again without thinking of your story.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahahaha! That is toooo funny! I have had similar experiences, though one of the best was back when I was in high school. I was stick thin and I was wearing jeans so tight I had to lay down and use pliers to pull the zipper closed. I went outside onto the big swing my dad had hung from the tree in the front yard. I was swinging when along came a car full of seniors driving slowly past the house. Of course I wanted to look cute, so I girlishly swing way back and SNAP! The rope snapped, I went flying with the swing board under my butt and landed with a thud. PING! My button flew off my pants and the zipper split open. There I was sitting in the dust with my busted pants and butt while the car drove off!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The visual aides really made this story, I'm laughing out loud!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am happily browsing through your archives and now I'm bent over double from laughing at this Karen! I have a stitch in my side and can barely get my breath back. This is HILARIOUS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh dear, I'm visualising :-) Hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  7. Karen, You have painted such a visual! I am laughing so hard right now that I'm typing all stupid. Holy Cow! I know you are not going to believe this but for once... Ive never done this! I know. I'm terrified of water and that is probably why I can safely say Ive never been a moon roll mama. love it

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi, Thanks for the generous comment on my blog.

    Enjoyed this post. We all go through embarassing situations, but to write about it with humor and graphic representation takes a special talent. Will read more..

    ReplyDelete