Tuesday, December 7, 2010

#61-PARANIOA (The "Tighty Whities" Story)

Did your mother ever tell you to ALWAYS wear clean undies in case you are in an accident?  Well, my mother drilled it into my mind most of my life.  This, hopefully explains my behavior in this next story (which occurred in the late 80s).  ALSO 100% TRUE!

Well, how else was I going to illustrate this one?  They don't exactly have tighty whities in clip art.
    And, yes, that's my foot!  No, that's not my underwear!      (I had to buy a pair to photograph)
One morning I found my underpants drawer empty as I was rushing to get dressed.  As usual, I was running late.  Rather than put on a pair of pants from the hamper (which my mother told me NEVER to do) I went to my college age son’s room and borrowed a pair of his white jockey shorts.  They were snug, but they would work.
Once out of the house and on the road I suddenly discovered that my mind was stuck on the idea that, somehow, someone would find out that I was wearing men’s underwear.  I began to think about being in an accident (thanks, Mom), getting sick and having to go to the hospital, or someone seeing my choice of panties through a crack in the bathroom door.  I ran dozen of scenarios through my mind all the way to work, all morning at work, and well into the afternoon.
When school was out, lest I tempt fate again on the drive home, I went to the restroom, removed the offending undies, and put them in the trash.  However, then I worried about someone finding out that I was going commando. 
What’s my point?  I HAVE NO IDEA.  We all do these silly little things and worry about what others might think.  Would anyone have even noticed?  (Probably not).  Would anyone have even cared if they did notice?  (Probably not).  So, why do we humans torture ourselves with these "little" things?  Because we’re just that, human.  (However, I vowed to never wear men’s briefs ever again).

Do you have any SILLY things that you worry about?  Tell me, please, I don't want to feel that I am the only one who does this kind of stuff.



  1. When I was young (in the 60's) my mother drilled into me to always wear a slip and it should never hang lower than my skirt. A lady never let her slip show. OMG did I worry about that. Now I don't ever wear slips (sorry, Mom!)

  2. I always worry that if I died today everyone would see how messy the house is , as if that's more important than anything else. Then I found out that my friend has the exact same fear!

  3. Clenna...when I was an office manager in the 80's I told an employee wearing a see through skirt that she needed a slip and she didn't know what I was talking about, she'd never owned one!

  4. jhitomi
    My mother always called it "sunning" - if you could see through a skirt - you were sunning. ( So Karen has the moon story and I have a sun story!!!)
    Remember the early pix of Princess Diana before she was married? She was standing so the sun could shine through her skirt. My Mother was shocked. I thought it was a riot.

  5. I think I would have a hard time wearing mens underwear without similar thoughts!

  6. Karen, you're too much for me! This is the funniest story I've heard in a long time...but actually, no...that's no longer true really, because between your stories & Carol's @ Facing Fifty, I'm accessing funny stories each time I visit either of your blogs. They ALL crack me up!


  7. Karen I somehow missed this story but I will tell you my mother told me the exact same thing. When i grew up however I decided I hated wearing underwear. So dear lady friend. Unless I am wearing a skirt I am going commando. Yes it is more comfy since I stopped wearing panty hose also. Now my unreasonable fear is whether or not my house is a mess and it catches fire. I know that firemen are not going to come rushing into to put out a fire then critisize my burnt down house but it still worries me. I mean have you seen some of those guys?

  8. Just saw what you wrote next to my button and I'm pretty tickled about that!