When we (my children and I) lived in Culver City, California I worked as a clerk in the Municipal Court. My job, at the time of this story, was to collect the fines for traffic ticket. It was the 70s and mini skirts/dresses were the rage. The only problem was that slips were nonexistent because of the shortness of the outfits (soon you will see why this bit if information is important).
The day I acquired my nickname I was wearing the SHARPEST olive green mini dress money could buy. It had a large (PLUNGING) white collar, white cuffs and about eight ROUND (key word) white buttons (from PLUNG to hem). I knew I looked Gooooood!
I was standing at the traffic counter finishing up the last person’s ticket. The counter topped-off at about six inches above my belly button. It was just the right height to rest my arms on the top of the counter; and do the required work. In fact, we had a very buxom (and shorter) lady who worked there. She made a habit of throwing back her shoulders and parking her BUXOM on the counter (but that is another story). Back to MY story.
It is also important to know that there were drawers just below the counter top. Several of them, with flat (another key word) drawer pulls.
A HANDSOME (30-something) gentleman stepped to the counter and I curtly (and with economy of motion) stepped sideways to the left to meet him. At that very moment my dress caught on one of the knobs, and the side stepping maneuver caused every buttonhole to slip over the beautiful ROUND white buttons. There I was, laid open like a delicately filleted fish.
The man saw this FINE looking woman (ME) standing in front of him in my bra and pantyhose with my dress hanging open. He also saw that I had a pair of olive green panties on over the hose (lest I inadvertently bent over to pick up a dropped object). In addition to that he saw that I had CRUDELY draped (and pinned) a small, olive green scarf over and around a portion of my bra (so the plunging neckline would not plunge me into trouble with the judge)
Quickly, I turned around, buttoned my dress, turned back around and said, “May I help you, sir?”
He was standing there with a crooked smile on his face and replied,"Honey, you already did!” I can't begin to describe the reactions this produced by the rest of the office personnel who had just witnessed the unbelievable event.
TRUE STORY! (Honestly!) kt 2010