MY V.I.P. FILE

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Monday, June 25, 2012

#235 - DEER ME!

I live in a small town surrounded by farmland.  No matter where I drive I an always passing through miles and miles of country.  It is wonderful and I will always be thankful for the every day beauty this area has to offer.  It is nothing to see cows, pigs, chickens, ducks, turkeys, goats, owls, geese, turtles, snakes and hawks almost on a daily basis.  However, when one is driving at dawn or dusk there is one animal you don't want to see and that is a deer.


Over the years I have hit 5 deer.  Two, just damaged my car, two destroyed two different vehicles (one was an F-150 Ford Truck) and one sent me airborne for the ride of my my life.  It is this story that I am going to relate.


A friend and I were on the way home after seeing a particularly awful movie in Joplin.  We were driving down the highway discussing the dreadful flick when we saw some activity on the right side of the road.  Several men were standing there talking (in an animated manner) by their trucks on the right side of the road.  Not a single one of them waived, pointed, or signaled us of any danger but, I pulled over into the left lane just to be sure.  Since their presence on the side of the road was unusual I was looking at them and did not notice lump laying in the middle of the left lane.  By the time I spotted the carcass of the HUGE dead dear, it was too late.  My tires ramped up the belly of the deer and the car was launched up and over the mound much like an Evil Kinevel stunt. It seemed as though the car was in the air for a very long time, at least long enough for me to contemplate what kind of a landing might be ahead of me.


With my hands firmly on the wheel (still steering of course) of this small, red, Ford, Escort I felt as though I soared up into the sky.  My friend was screaming something and I think I uttered, "Oooooohhhhhh, sh##!" then landed on the two front wheels followed by the two rear wheels.  I felt like Cathy Rigby sticking her dismount and receiving a perfect 10.


The car wobbled a bit, but stuck to the road as an eerie silence settled over the car.  We drove on quietly for a while and then began to get mad.  We realized that those STUPID men were probably arguing over who was going to get to take the meat home.  None of them thought to warn any oncoming vehicles.  I felt like going back and giving them a piece of my mind and charging them $50 dollars for the customized tenderizing I had just performed.  However, I knew that since my hands were trembling like crazy that my knees were doing the same.  Falling flat on my face in front of them wasn't an attractive idea so, we went on home.


kt 3/15/12



COMING ATTRACTIONS:

#236 True Love
#237 - GAS ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK
#238 - GOOD AIM, GIRL
#239 - AN ACCOMPLISHED THIEF










3 comments:

  1. Yah, you were lucky KT. The deer are rampant here too and its easy to see 15 or so hit a day out on the highway. At least, that is what the highway fellas tell us n we see em picking em up stacking them on the back of their loader. Dam shame, but there must be lots about, cause the job never ends. We have been real close a couple of times and thankfully we had someone watching over us.
    I think I would have peed in my pants if I had been with you. ha,ha
    Always a good story to look forward to on Mondays. Have a great nite n take care.
    Lilly

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  2. Customized tenderizing! You're a riot! Glad you're okay.

    ReplyDelete