#199 - A COMMENT FROM THE FLOOR OF THE HOUSE!

Almost exactly a year ago my father fell, butt first, into the bathtub while pulling up his underwear.  This prompted my first story which I put in installments on my Face Book page.  For my family, I described the antics I went through trying to design and install a bar to put across the tub to keep this from happening again.  That particular story became blog posts number 12, 13, 14, and 15.  Well the bar prevented another dive into the bathtub, but... ... ...

Today, July 4, 2011, only a few days away from the anniversary of this event (and my first post on blogger... Yes, this is the anniversary month of my debut on blogger) my dad fell in the bathroom again, but NOT INTO THE BATHTUB.


Now, I know what you are thinking, "Karen, shame on you!  This is not a funny subject.  He could have been seriously hurt."  Well, yes I guess that is true but hang on, hear me out, and let me finish the story.


Around 7 AM I heard, "Oh...Oh...Oh....groan...Oh...Oh...groan...   ...  ...   "


Quickly jumping out of bed I rushed to the bathroom to find him on his knees in front of the comode, with his pants down.  It was not a pretty picture but with my concern for my dad this did not register in my brain, until later.

He was holding onto the edge of the sink counter and trying to get up.  Despite my insistence he remain still he kept trying to pull himself up.  It was definitely  impossible for him to achieve this, but he wouldn't listen.  I tried to convenience him to let me help him lay down on his side but he said he couldn't (his feet were straddling the toilet on the floor).  I ran to the phone (I swear I am going to put telephones in both of the bathrooms) and called 911.  While imparting the information I heard a thump.  Back to the bathroom I raced to find him laying on his left side in front of the sink.  I grabbed a pillow for his head just as a city police officer appeared at the front door.

When the paramedics arrived they asked him a few questions, like they do, to determine the mental status of their victim.  What is your name was the first question and the second question questions was, "Do you know where you are?"  Dad almost did a double take, gazed up at them over his right shoulder, (with an incredulous expression on his face) and said, "Well, of course. (pregnant pause) I'm on the floor! "  (you could tell by the tone of his voice YOU IDIOTS was implied in the pregnant pause).  That elicited a laugh from everyone.

They checked him out, found a few scrapes and bruises, but nothing more, then got him up.  

See, the tough old bird is ok, and delivered a great one liner in the mist of the possibly serious situation.

SEE YOU NEXT MONDAY... ... ... for  SHOOTS AND LADDERS... kt 7/4/2011  

#15 AS A RESULT OF DAD'S BATHTUB ADVENTURE

(Don't start here.  Scroll down to the beginning for parts 1, 2,  3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)     Trust me it will be worth it.

BLOW-BY-BLOW part 10 (the finale):  Once again an old adage bears true.  "Necessity is the mother of invention. " We now have a sturdy, fully functioning (removable) handrail across the tub opening.  Am I great or what!  Of course, the fact that it doesn't look like a professioal job does not spoil the victory!!!!!

FINALLY FINISHED!

                                       kt   July 7, 2010  

#14 AS A RESULT OF DAD'S BATHTUB ADVENTURE

(Don't start here.  It will make more sense if you scroll down to the beginning for parts 1, 2,  3, 4, 5, 6)

BLOW-BY-BLOW part 7: Ok, I redesigned the rail brackets. This required using the circular saw and jigsaw again (which, with me, is an accident waiting to happen). However, both cuts went off without a hitch. It was when I had to use the sander that things got interesting. Apparently, I had left the sander on the last time I used it and just flipped the switch to the plug. So when I plugged it into a different outlet it jumped off the sawhorse shelf and raced across the garage floor…..toward the cat (who was lounging on the cement floor watching the Karen show)! I don’t know how she did it, but somehow she sprung off the floor, spun around in mid air and almost left skid marks leaving the area. I stood there watching the CATastrophe unfold. I had started to laugh when the sander came to the end of its tether, jerked and started back in my direction. Oh, _______! After coaxing my eyebrows down off the ceiling I managed to pull the plug on the errant sander. The cat is nowhere to be found.

BLOW-BY-BLOW part 8:  Woopie!  I found the studs, drilled holes in the NEW boards (and the saw horses holding them.  By the way, did you know that if you put a board on a cement floor to drill it and, WELL....... accidentally drill through the board to the cement and, WELL...... the drill bit gets so hot it melts?  Just thought I'd mention this just in case someone (not me) might do that.

BLOW-BY-BLOW part 9 : I drilled holes (and only 3 too many) in the walls at each end of the tub where the studs are, I love that word and screwed the boards to the walls (only loosing 1 screw down the drain.  Now, to test my invention I only have to slip the rail into the U slots.  Tell you next tie because this is the cliff hanger ending for this episode.

(10 is next)

#13 AS A RESULT OF DAD'S BATHTUB ADVENTURE

(Don't start here.  Scroll down to the beginning for parts 1, 2, 3)


BLOW-BY-BLOW part 4:   Ran into a snag today…My stud finder isn’t working…no surprise to me….mine hasn’t been working for years!

BLOW-BY-BLOW part 5:  I finally put the final coat of spray paint on the boards and rail
(only spraying the cat, slightly). And I’ll be right back right after an announcement from our sponsors……CpC (cats protecting cats) Buy this special outfit to protect your cat from
unnecessary spray painting accidents….$40.00 all profits go to the cats in west Africa.

BLOW-BY-BLOW part 6:   I would start off with CUSS words but I don’t want to offend anyone (so I am saying them out loud as I type). I finally got the stud finder to work (need new batteries – don’t we all). I searched for 20 minutes only to find that nearby studs were 6 inches away from where I needed to anchor the boards. BACK TO THE (MacGyver) DRAWING BOARD!

Parts 7, 8, 9 next.

#12 AS A RESULT OF DAD'S BATHTUB ADVENTURE

This is another one I will have to do in parts because it is soooooo long.

My father is 99 and he had an accident last week. It seems that he fell butt first into the tub while trying to pull his pants up. He wasn’t hurt, but I had to call 911 for help getting him out of the bathtub. So, I have been trying to design a way to put a removable handrail across the opening to the tub. I put these daily comments on facebook (one at a time):


BLOW-BY-BLOW part 1: The first problem I encountered was, "How am I going to fasten the end of the pole to the walls? "The guy at the lumber yard sold me 2 wide L brackets. Didn't take this lady long to realize that If I screwed the brackets to the wall and the pole to the brackets; then I would have to crawl
                                      over or under to take a bath. NOPE that is a deal breaker.

BLOW-BY-BLOW part 2: Well, I cut the wood pieces yesterday and only dropped the circular saw once (a personal best for me), Then I jigged U slots in the top of each board. Is till have all my fingers so will consider it a success. Next I painted on side of each board and the railing. By this time it was afternoon and sweat was dripping off my nose onto the boards. Time to quit!

BLOW-BY-BLOW part 3: Ok, I now have both sides of the boards and the bottom of the railing painted. Only knocked over the paint can once and dropped the paint brush twice. In typical Karen style it would be easier to describe where I didn’t get paint on myself; lets just say I now have a basecoat most everywhere! Once I sand the ants off tomorrow, I should be able to put the finish coat on.

See part 3, 4, 5 next.