Thursday, January 27, 2011

#112-THURSDAY'S PICK (April)


I love reading people's comments.  Therefore,  have decided to feature comment(s) on Thursdays.  Of course this will fall FLAT if you guys aren't making comments!  This is no longer an issue.  In fact, I have so many wonderful comments to choose from that I am having a hard time keeping up.  THANK YOU!  ALL OF YOU!
BY THE WAY, APRIL JUST STARTED BLOGGING.  WAY TO GO APRIL.  LETS ALL GIVE HER A WELCOMING HUG BY DROPPING BY HER SITE AND ENCOURAGING HER!
                                     confessionsofaterriblemom.blogspot.com

By ape2016 on #74-THE LAST SANTA on 12/20/10
I believed until I was 12. I was very determined to believe and (since I couldn't stand most other kids) I wasn't inclined to listen to what they said. I mean they had already tried to impart some sex ed and that was so bizarre as to be unbelievable (who knew!?). I wanted my kids to believe for the longest time, so I have always gone above and beyond and my two youngest still believe. My oldest who is 12 found out last year simply because she wouldn't stop being nosy. One year, we lived in a big, nice house with a huge yard- this was quite an experience since we had always lived in apartments and trailers. I was determined to make the most of it. We watched The Polar Express repeatedly that season, and when Christmas Eve came I put the kids to bed and set to work. My parents helped me and we had a blast. First, we had to eat the cookies left for Santa and have some milk, making sure to leave lip prints on the glass. We always left apples and carrots for the reindeer outside, 
so my dad took huge bites out of the apples (to imitate a reindeer bite) and we munched the carrots, leaving lots of dropped bits (reindeer are messy eaters). I took dirt and mud and made hoof prints on the porch and down into the yard. I used 2 boards, evenly spaced to simulate sleigh tracks in the yard and the final touch was 4 shiny silver sleigh bells that 'fell' off Santa's sleigh in the yard. Luckily, there was a bell for each child. The kids were so excited and even though there is some proof of Santa each year, this is the one the kids always talk about. Isn't it amazing what parents will do to preserve magic for a child?
You left out something that would have really convinced them:
kt 1/22/11
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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

#111-AN OFFICER and A GENTLEMAN

Lady, please!
I was awakened one morning a knock at the door at about 5AM.  When I peeked out the peephole I saw a POLICE OFFICER standing there.  I was living in a small college town at the time and I figured something had happened.

I was reluctant to open the door because I was in my ratty flannel pajamas (with clunky white sports socks on my feet).  My hair was standing straight up, and I am sure I had sleep creases all over the side of my face.

When I opened the door the young officer said, “Are you Karen Taylor?”

“Yes,” I warily replied.

He returned with, “There has been a complaint filed against you and I am here to question you about it.”  I did not invite him in (I'm not stupid, I watch television).  I asked him, "What's this all about, officer?" 

He explained that the convenience store on main street had called the police and accused me of driving out without paying for my gas.  I immediately went ballistic.  There was an incident the morning before but this was WAY off.  I struck a insolent pose, thrust my wrists out toward him and said, “You’ve got me officer; I am a wanton criminal and am ready to go to jail!”

The YOUNG officer just dropped his head, shook it, looked at his feet, then looked up and pleaded, “Lady, please don’t do this.  I’m sure we can work things out if you will just come to the gas station with me.”

Ok, I felt sorry for the kid, so I dressed and then drove to the to gas station, he followed.

Now, here is what really happened the day before:

I was out of gas and knew I had to fill up somewhere close.  There was a convenience story/station behind my house (I could throw a rock from my back door to this place, and believe me after this incident, I did consider it).  I was going to be late to work if I didn’t hurry.  I filled up but couldn’t find my card.  I apologized and offered the girl a check.  She said they didn’t take checks, but I could fill out a request for a card.

“But, I said, “I already have a card.”  Besides, the application they wanted me to fill out was for a different card.  I had gotten gas there before and I didn't need or want a new card.  I argued with her to no avail.  I even had her call the owner, who  said no.  I then offered to allow her to pump the gas out of my car (by that time I was getting mad).  Not wanting to be late, I placed (no slammed) my check on the counter (with name address and phone number on it) and left.  Ergo the 5 AM wake-up call.

This was all discussed again with the employee at the store.   She was seething, and rude.  I was coherent, calm and polite (see told ya, I'm not stupid). The officer listened and asked to see the check and the application that was tendered to me.  I still hadn’t found my charge card and I still didn’t have cash.  The officer called the owner and advised him to take the check.  It was over, but I was late to work by the time they all got through putzing around.

And as Paul Harvey used to say, AND NOW THE REST OF THE STORY:

That evening, I told my 6’9” basketball-playing son (who happened to know the owner) the story.  My son, also, happened to play pick-up games at the “Y.”  But, more importantly so did the owner of this store. 

A couple of days later, as my son was helping this man up off the floor (where he had ACCIDENTALLY knocked him) my son said to this guy, “By the way, my mother’s name is Karen Taylor,” and smiled.  The owner did not return for any more pick-up games.

What a GENTLEMAN, my son is, to defend my honor!


100% TRUE
kt


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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

#110-TOTALLY TUBULAR TUESDAYS

I have decided to try another new idea.  Every Tuesday I am going to post something current.  Usually I edit a piece to death before it gets posted.  Honestly it takes from 3 weeks to two months for me to get a piece from first draft to posted.  There are several reasons for this (I am, also, going to give bullets a try while I explain).  


By the way, my grandson tells me that tubular (although not used much any more) means awesome.
  1. I am very insecure about posting my writing.  Really, I can't see why anyone but my daughter would want to read my stuff.  She thinks I'm great (but she's supposed to). My grandson thinks I'm funny (but he is now 15 and likes my car).
  2. I'm always afraid that someday I will check comments and see NOTHING! or worse yet see a really mean comment.
  3. I am a techno-idiot.  Right now I can't even believe that the number 2 came up where it is supposed to.  For example, I have been blogging since July 2010 and I just recently learned how to post a button (took me 2 months) I frequently loose entire posts into the C.R.A.P. never-never land (see blogs 48 and 58 if you want to understand that comment).  I have one blog that keeps posting itself even though it is not scheduled to go on until 2/3.
  4. Most of my posts are scheduled at least three weeks away from the day I post them.  I seem to stress over something coming up that would cause me to miss a day.
  5. (Woooo Hoooo the 4 showed up!)  I worry about things to say or that things I say aren't interesting to others.  I worry that something I said might offend someone.
  6. And, the biggest thing is probably that I am thin skinned, and I am easily hurt.
  7. Another, point is that I CAN'T SHUT UP once I get started.  I have been known to sit here for hours and hours just typing away on pages and pages.  It is very difficult for me to cull out the unnecessary. Case in point...I am already on #7 and headed for #8 borrrrrrrring!
To make it easy on myself I am going to tell you about my new puppy.  
On December 28th my dad and I were on our way back from our usual gourmet meal at McDonald's (an entire story on its own) and I watched a customer walking her dog on McDonald's beautifully manicured lawn (they must love that).  I remember sighing and saying to my dad (who can't hear a thing I say, and likes it that way),  "Luke (see #104) has been gone for six years.  I really miss having a dog."   

As we headed down the road toward home I sighed and said, "God, I want a puppy to love!"  About 50 yards further down the road sat a nice car with a travel kennel beside it.  In that kennel were two adorable spotted Cocker Spaniels (Thank you God!). I threw on the breaks, swerved into the Orchlein's parking lot, in and out of a pot hole, jumped out of my car, and started inquiring about the puppies.  I had heard of this lady's kennel (a local one) so I knew it was reputable.   I was watching the two little males wrestling.  When she told me that they were AKC registered my heart hit the pavement so hard it popped another pot hole.  I knew I couldn't afford to buy a registered Cocker.  But, then she said, the magic words, "THEY ARE ON SALE!" I immediately replied, "I'll take the one on top." 

We took care of business and then I stuffed the now trembling little guy (2 months old) in my coat and headed home.  It was love at first sight (love that only diminished slightly when I put him in my cat kennel for the night).  I had to sleep on the floor with my fingers through the wire door to get his plaintiff cry down to a whimper.  Nothing else seemed to soothe him.  Have you ever smelled puppy breath?  I really don't know how to describe it but it is sweeter than alfalfa after a summer rain. I fell asleep happy.  He fell asleep only to wake up every 2-3 hours to go potty.  We continued that routine for about 4 days.

I struggled for days trying to come up with a name.  Friends, children and grandchildren all tried a hand at it.  Each day I tried on a new name only to find out it wasn't going to stick.  One day, my grandson said, "That dog is going to be permanently scarred if you don't come  up with a name soon."   Then, suddenly, one name lasted into the second day.  Toby, his name is Toby. (However, by the time he got this name he actually thought his name was "you little $#!!" because he was getting into so much trouble.)

When I registered him I needed more than one name so he became Totally Tubular Toby!  And here's his picture:



Sorry, couldn't resist it!


Here is Toby:


Toby is a real card and I have already figured out that he is smarter than me. My training started the minute he snuggled into my coat.   I will be writing about his antics and believe me they are classic puppy antics.  He makes me laugh several times an hour.  he will be three months old on the 28th of this month (that means that he is in his terrible twos).
Next Tuesday, maybe I will tell you why he is BANNED from the bathroom!  Nope can't, that is when the giveaway my daughter is sponsering for me willbe announced.  The following Tuesday then.  Nope, that will be my dad's 100th birthday blog.  Ok, ok gotta rearrange some things.  I'll get back to you.
kt 1/21/2010


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Monday, January 24, 2011

#109-I AM SO PSYCHED!

I AM SO PSYCHED (CAPS + BOLD = SCREAMING)!

I was just sent a bloggers' award (which means it comes from other bloggers).
Not only that it came from a blogger I consider hilarious!

Ready?  TA-TA-TADA!



And As a condition of accepting this award, some rules must be followed:

1. Link to the person who gave you this award (in a post, or in your sidebar, wherever you have this).  Just sent him an OMG!  OMG!  Thanks to unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com
2.  Pass the award along to seven other people who post about at least slightly amusing things and tell them (by emailing them or commenting on a post, etc.).
I AM PASSING THIS ALONG TO THE FOLLOWING ( in alphabetical order): 
1.  Confessions  of a Terrible Mom (a new blogger)
2.  Cow Patty Surprise
3.  Facing 50 With Humor
4.  Grin and Baer It (I wish she would write more)
5.   Life Can Be Funny (Sometimes)
6..  The Last Word
7.  The Professionally Insane "M"




Of course no LOL list would be complete without Wrestling with Retirement.  However she has a note on her blog (I must humbly decline any further awards. There are plenty of more deserving bloggers out there than I.)  I don't agree, but I respect her request.







3.  Say seven things about yourself that no one knows (or at least you think no one knows).
If you read my blog long enough you will know everything there is to know about me.  After-all I related how I disrobed in public while at work in #26.  I spilled the truth about my state of denial in #47. I told the world about wearing tighty-whities in #61.  Then I disclosed that I talk to ants in #92. Finally I exposed the fact that I suffer from verbal diarrhea in #103. What else could I possibly tell you?

OK, got one... I am getting my first ever tattoo (this is on my bucket list).
II.    I love the smell of a puppy's breath.
III.   I can't spell worth $#!! (no, can't use that...my daughter and most of my friends know that).
III.   I've always wanted to sail across the ocean on a triple masted schooner.
IV.   I pretended to like clams when my son-in-law ordered them for me.
V.    I have gas (right now)!
VI.  I would be an animal hoarder if not for the fact that I would probably end up on that HORRIBLE SHOW!
VII.  I like peanut butter on sweet pickles (woops, I just told someone the other day..RATS!)
You have no idea how hard this is.  My life is an open book.  I have no secrets or hidden agendas.  I am what I am!
VII.  I know...got it...when I was younger I was studying to be a beautician (this was generally known).  I did get my license but only worked a short while because I had an unhealthy urge to clock some of the annoying little old ladies on the head with the brush!
PHEW!  Finished!
4.  Pass these rules on.

THE RULES:
And As a condition of accepting this award, some rules must be followed:



1. Link to the person who gave you this award (in a post, or in your sidebar, wherever you have this).
2.  Pass the award along to seven other people who post about at least slightly amusing things and tell them (by emailing them or commenting on a post, etc.).
3.  Say seven things about yourself that no one knows (or at least you think no one knows).
4.  Pass these rules on.
kt 2/23/11


1/24/11 OMG...WOAH...just got another one. (Thankfully no strings attached because I spent an hour yesterday on this first one!)  Thanks to thedesertrocks.blogspot.com



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Sunday, January 23, 2011

#108-SUNDAY'S SONG (Your Hands by J. J. Heller)

This is one of my favorite songs.  I like secular songs too, but, there is something about these contemporary Christian songs that address how people are trying to make sense of this world we live in.  kt2011

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Saturday, January 22, 2011

#107-ANOTHER BLOG (CHILDREN’S STORIES)







Recently I put together two stories that I wrote for two of my other grandchildren.  And, it suddenly occurred to me that I should start another blog onto which I could post my grandchildren's stories (1st and 3rd graders).  WHAT! Am I nuts?


I wrote Shay's first (Shay and Logan's Little Yellow Duck Story by Grammy) and then I wrote Logan's (Logan and Shay's Little Green Frog Story by Grammy).  Since I illustrated (well tried anyway) them myself these stories (even though short) have taken me a couple of years.  But, the kids have seen and been read the rough drafts.

I searched everywhere for someplace to publish just 2 copies of both stories.  Well, I found out that I can't afford even a small publishing group so I resorted to having them professionally copied and placed them in a presentation packet.  I promised they would have their books by this Christmas 2010 (and I managed to keep that promise).

Then it hit me, I could also publish them on a blog!  That way the stories would be there for them any time they wanted.  I don't want to clutter up this blog with several pages of children's stories, ergo START A NEW BLOG.  That way, maybe, I could type up the one I wrote for my own children many years ago.  I could also write other stories for my grandkids.  SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT!.......10 seconds lapsed......Thought about it.......and decided to go for it.

Six days have now lapsed…..been burning up the computer managing current blog…..so pull back and wait.  Maybe tomorrow!


What do you think?  Go for it......or.......hold off?
kt 2011
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Thursday, January 20, 2011

#105-THURSDAY'S PICK (Carol to #74 - The Last Santa)

message love reading people's comments.  Therefore, I have decided to pick a comment each Thursday to post.  Of course this will fall FLAT if you guys aren't making comments!  This is no longer an issue.  In fact, I have so many wonderful comments to choose from that I am having a hard time keeping up.  THANK YOU!  ALL OF YOU!
TODAY'S PICK:  To #74 Carol said, "I read this and thought 'how beautiful'. This is a lovely story and exactly the right message too. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. I nosed around your blog after you visited me and left that very kind comment. I really like your blog and have signed up to be your latest follower. I'll enjoy reading more of your posts. heartfelt good wishes...welcome to the blogging community...I think it has probably helped to keep me sane the last few months :) Carol from www.facing50withhumour.blogspot.com

THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL COMMENT:  Saneness is not my goal.  This is THERAPY for me.  If you read the rest of my "stuff" you will see that I am already around the bend!  I was already off my rocker before I started writing this blog.  In fact I have always prided myself for being a little bit bonkers.  Being nuts is a way of life for me. I am not rich enough to be called eccentric. But, I try to live up to all of these words. I love to laugh and even when I am home alone I find myself laughing at myself, which may sound a tad crazy.  (The following  sentence is to my other followers.  Carol is already aware of my sanity or lack there of)  Take a look at #23 and #68 you will get a feel for my type of humor.  Isn't it amazing that there are so many words to describe a person's state of mind!
kt2011
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

#104-LUKE (A TWEAK TO REMEMBER)


Several years (early 90s) ago I adopted a year old German Shepherd named Duke from the local shelter.  I immediately renamed him Luke.  Originally I went to the pound to see if I could fine some big, mean, ugly, cats to keep the rats down in my son’s horse barn.  But, when I saw this sad and depressed dog I immediately clutched my heart.  I asked the lady, “What’s the story on this dog?”  She told me how his drug-dealing owner had hung himself in the local jail,  making this pure-bread animal an orphan.

With heightened anticipation I asked to take the dog for a walk.  When the he and I approached a bench I said, “Lets sit for a while.”  Before I could get the for a while part out of my mouth he plopped his behind down onto the ground and looked up at me.  My eyebrows jumped up a notch and my mind started to race (well it always races, and this time it raced off in a different direction).  We walked a little further and I told him to sit again, he did.

He also walked nicely by my side, laid down on cue, stayed on cue and came on cue.  I WAS ECSTATIC.  Cats completely forgotten I left the shelter with my new dog on a rope.  Rats be darned.  I had myself a brand new BFF!

Three weeks later he still hadn’t perked up so I took him to my vet.  The poor guy had heart-worms.  Several treatments and $$$$$ later, Luke was hale and hardy.  However, the process of nurturing him through the poisoning they had to do to cure him, caused Luke to become my shadow and protector.

At first he had anxiety separation problems so I took him everywhere I went (even to church).  One day, during Sunday school, I look over to see him standing in the isle by my pew.  When one of the churchgoers walked in Luke started to walk in too.  When the guy blocked his way Luke let out a low rumble in his throat, which caused the guy to step aside.  I took Luke back out to the car and rolled the windows up a little more. 

As the days and months went on I became aware of his protective nature and watched him closely.  However, as long as no one got rowdy or approached me in a surprising way, Luke was a lamb.

Well, that next year I sustained a spiral fracture of the right tibia. I was in a PLASTER cast from my foot to my thigh.  This in itself is a story but I want to tell you about how my dog Luke protected me during this time. 

There was an old man who lived down the street who occasionally brought me vegetables from his garden.  The only problem was that he wanted to be rewarded with a hug.  Which in itself is not a problem, IT WAS HIS HANDS!  

One day the old man came to my door.  I was still in a wheelchair and my shadow was by my side.  The old man expressed his sympathy, gave me some vegetables and reached past the threshold to collect his hug.  Luke was calmly standing on my left side and just as calmly took matter into his own hands (or should I say jaws).  In the quickest, slickest move I have ever seen, my dog had grabbed the crotch (and its contents) of this man’s pants.

Luke didn’t bite, he didn’t growl, he just did a little “tweak, tweak” and let the man go.  The old man froze and said, “Ahhhh, did you see that?”  I immediately replied, “Yes, are you OK?”  He rubbed the area, told me he was fine, and left.  Between giggles, I congratulated Luke for the delicate way he handled the situation.  I never saw that old man again!

I considered several other titles, but since this is a "G" rated blog I had to ignore the ideas.  HOWEVER, YOU COULD MAKE SUGGESTIONS IN YOUR COMMENTS!

kt2011  
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

#103-VERBAL GIFTS?


 


My Uncle David used to accuse me of having verbal diarrhea.   However accurate it may be, it is not something one can put on a resume, smile and point to.  Uncle David has suggested taping my mouth shut several times over the years.



If I wanted to be sure my students or children did what I asked I simply said, “ Do you want to...bla… bla,…bla…or get a lecture from me?” They ALWAYS chose what ever it was I wanted them to do.  They hated my LONG lectures.

I don’t know if it is a gift or a burden but it is who I am.   I wasn’t on the debate team because that caused serious research and mental acuity.  No, I was in DRAMA club and I guess that is why my life is ALWAYS filled with DRAMA. 

Having a voice that can carry to the back of an auditorium is another one of my verbal gifts.  I can thank my college drama teacher for that.  “Prooooject, Karen, Prooooject!” was what he would continually shout.  I was in a couple of plays, liked it, but couldn’t pick up my cues.  I would get so involved with what was going on around me (darned ole ADHD again see blog #29) that I would usually be startled into my line by a kick, pinch, or shove.  Therefore, I was always in comedies where the prompts of cast members usually drew  laughs.   

It is here that I learned I liked to laugh and liked making people laugh.  That launched me into a life time of telling my "little tales" to my friends and family. And, here I am today telling these stories to you.  
kt2010

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