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Monday, April 4, 2011

#169-THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES, GRADE SCHOOL STYLE

You may not realize it but,
it's a jungle out there!
In the early 80s, my second teaching assignment was in a small town not to far from where I lived.  It was a 20-minute commute through farming areas (well, everything in these parts is a commute through farm areas).  Anyway, I was a Title One (government funded) teacher and I taught remedial math and language to grades 3-7. 


CAUTION THIS PARTICULAR BLOG IS RATED PG-13 DUE TO 2 WORDS WHICH ARE INTEGRAL TO THE TELLING OF THE STORY (This is probably how the romance novelist started out.  One little peccadillo now and then WHAM!).

One afternoon the Principal called an emergency teacher’s meeting to discuss what she termed in her memo as a “grave situation.”  Now, this principal was a dear, sweet, middle aged,  grandmotherly type.  I loved her dearly.  She had a terrific sense of humor; treated students and teachers fairly and never over reacted.

We were all in the lunchroom waiting and speculating on what this “grave situation” might be when she walked in.  Her usual smiling face carried a serious expression, which quickly quieted us down.  The meeting went something like this:

Principal:       (With a serious expression she glanced around the room) Ladies and gentlemen, it has come to my attention that there is a situation that needs our immediate attention.

Teachers:       A slight murmuring, clearing of throats, and glances at one another.

Principal:       I believe the boys started it on the playground yesterday with what they called
 “Titty Twisting Tuesday,” (she didn't crack a smile).

Teachers:       Some gasps and a few giggles could be heard.  There were several smiling faces looking at their feet, ceiling, or fingernails. 

Principal:       Today, the girls responded with “Weener Whacking Wednesday,” (and she still regained her grip on her facial expression).

Teachers:        Some more gasps (we had two old prunes still teaching) but, by now most of 
                         the teachers started laughing.

Principal:       (Still wearing a stern look) People, I don’t know what is planned for tomorrow but we have to get this stopped by Friday (at this she raised her left eyebrow).

Teachers:       (The teachers knew the key to the comment started with the letter F).  The room erupted in hysterical laughter.  Tears were running down faces.  The prune sisters were all puckered up (at both ends) and our beloved leader was, also, cracking up.


Needless to say, the problem was taken care of on Teacher's Tantrum Thursday.  Friday was not a problem.  (100% true!)

kt 3/2011

8 comments:

  1. Too funny.
    For a couple of years when I was teaching 6th grade, the boys played a game called "Butts-Up". They would stand against a wall or fence, someone would yell butts-up. They would all turn with their backs to the one person, who had a tennis ball. He, in turn, would throw the ball at each 'butt'! Boys at this age throw a mean ball, and they often hurt each other. They never complained, just laughed. We were constantly breaking their 'butts' - I mean breaking up the 'butts' squad. We didn't want anyone to get hurt.

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  2. What a terrific story and what a super headmistress. Not often to be blessed by one with such a jolly good sense of humour :) You told it so well, Karen...I'm still chuckling and I can imagine how hilarious it would have been at the time.

    Hope you're having a grand day!

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  3. I love this story and I love how the girls didn't just 'take' it and came up with revenge...what can I say...I am bloodthirsty. When I was in grade school is was all about 'cooties'. Who had them, how to get them, how to prevent them...it was ridiculous.

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  4. Nice to know you worked with people who had a sense of humor...those kids must have loved you!

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  5. Weener Whacking- I'll remember that one. Thanks.

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  6. Lol...nothing a Teacher's Tantrum Thursday couldn't have handled, I guess....:D

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  7. Oh to have been there on that blessed day! I would have died laughing. There's no way I could have kept a straight face. I have a lot of respect for teachers and principals! What an under paid job. I will be following as this was just delightful.

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  8. Oh the profanity! I need therapy after that :)

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