I am not going to split this up into parts so stick with me on this to the end....OK?
One May morning two large spiders were climbing through a tall tree at the Osan Air Force Base in Korea. Mother spider had taken her teenage son out for a night hunt and they were just returning home. Her son was going on and on about the big exciting world they live in and Mom was mostly ignoring him.
Harry was saying (in spider language, of course), "Ma, oh, Ma, I saw the neatest thing today. A spider, kinda like me jumped out of a tree and glided to the ground. It was a thing of beauty! A long silver streamer trailed behind him and he flew. He flew, Ma!"
Mom knew it was time to tell her son that he was not equipped for such a feat when the youngster yelled out, "Ma,.........Ma, watch me!" and off the branch he jumped.
"Oh, well," the mother said to herself, "Teenagers!" "Then again," she thought, "I have been trying to get him to leave home for ages!"
Days went by and the mother spider did not see (or miss) her son. Finally, one night, she heard him dragging himself up the tree to their home. He was a frightful mess. Also, he was limping on two of his six furry legs and had dirt and grime all over what was once shiny brown fur. One mandible was even bent.
Mother asked, "Well, Harry, where have you been? I couldn't hold dinner forever. I had it all wrapped up for you, but when you didn't show I gave it to your younger brothers." Harry plopped down beside his mother and sighed.
"Well, Ma, you see the flight down out of the tree was fun,..........at first. Then, I realized that I wasn't floating like the other spider. Next, I noticed I did not have that long silver streamer comming out of my rear end. Finally, I realized that I was in trouble."
Taking a deep breath, Harry continued. "The ground was coming up fast. There were two of those human animals you warned me about, directly below me. I tried to let them know I was dropping by, but I guess they don't speak spider. Anyway, down I came and landed, KER-PLUNK, right on top of one of them."
Harry shuddered as he remembered the horror of what happened next. "Well," he said, "that is when all hell broke loose!" The one I landed on wasn't very nice. It started making all kinds of noise (most of which, I am sure, started with their "F" sound) . It was jumping around like a tree branch in a wind storm. It was screaming so loud that I thought my head would burst. Suddenly, a part of it flew off (the part I was clinging to) and so did I. By the way, Ma, did you know that they could shed their skins. Freaky, huh! Anyway, I landed in a puddle of mud and tried to scurry off. That is when I found that legs number two and four weren't working so well. I haven't a clue why, but the second human was jumping and sreaming too. It almost stepped on me. I didn't even come near it at all, honest Ma! I crawled into a nearby dirty, stinky hole and rested up during the day."
With a dazed look still in his eyes, Harry continued, "I couldn't sleep because of all of the humans walking by, so the next night I started limping my way home. Every time I saw a human I had to duck into another hiding place. I was so terrified that I am sure that I lost some of my hair (as he said this he ran one of his working legs across a part of his abdomen to smooth down some of the remaining hairs). I was almost home when I heard a sound that curdled my blood; I do have blood don't I Ma? You DID neglect to tell me that I didn't have a para-shoot like the other spider!"
Mother just gave Harry one of her, get on with it, looks and Harry said, "Oh, Yeah, back to the sound."
After taking another deep breath Harry went on, "It was that same human walking down the path. I froze in abject terror of being found by this fierce creature. It picked up a rock on the path and flung it into the bush I was hiding behind. How it knew I was there I do not know. The rock hit me squarely on the head and bent my mandible. I may never be able to eat again!"
Mother spider just stared at her teenage son, and said "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger!" Then she walked off shaking her head uttering, "Give me strength!"
Harry followed her spouting phrases like, "Ma, can we move? It's dangerous here!" "I'm never leaving your side again!"
After Harry's last remark you could faintly hear Mother spider say, "Oh, rats!"
kt 2010
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