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Thursday, March 3, 2011

#147.5-WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!

Lately I have been receiving all kinds of junk mail aimed at enticing me to join a dating service (SeniorSingles Match, Senior Match, Perfect Matches, etc).  What's up with that?  I'm 70 for crying out loud!

At one time I was on the look out for someome to share my life with.  After all I have been divorced for over 40 years.  However, when I discovered I had to either pick one up a the local shelter (an buy him teeth), steal one from someone else (probably have the same problems as most used cars, like too much mileage), or wait for someone's wife to die (what a morbid thought).  Therefore, I decided it wasn't worth it.

However, if I WERE in the market there would be several criteria I would have to insist on.  For example:

Oh, YES, I WOULD have specifications.  I would like:

1.  a man who loves to cook but, also likes to clean up the mess.
2.  a man who likes to travel, alone!
3.  a man who still looks good with my glasses on.
4.  a man who has lots of money, but can't remember he has given it ALL to me.
5.  a man who does not dwell on his past.

6.  A man who has good insurance (especially for nursing home care and "final expenses").
7.  A man who has absolutely no children (or ex-wives).
8.  A man who does not need to wear depends.

9.  A man who insists on separate bedrooms (so it ok if he snores = my one concession).
10.  BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY A man who loves to cuddle, but has prostrate prostate trouble (get my drift).

So, with this criteria do you think I should go on one of those dating services?  Neither do I!
I WASN'T FINISHED WITH THIS ONE YET!  IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO POST UNTIL 3/21 BUT THE C.R.A.P. (Computer Related Attacks by Poulterguists) STRUCK AGAIN.  OH WELL!  kt 3/2011


9 comments:

  1. I'm a firm believer in "If it's meant to be it'll be ". So, if you are destined to get married again, or have a companion of any kind, it will happen.... even if you don't join a dating service. And furthermore, I LOVE your criteria! Have a happy Thursday!

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  2. Karen, you are a SCREAM!!! This is hilarious...an inspired, marvellous piece of writing! I can see this doing the rounds... all over the globe :)

    I agree with M's comments...you still have LOTS of life to live and I think the RIGHT companion could be a great addition to your life, BUT it will happen...if it's meant to!!!

    You could always play the dating game for a bit of fun/a giggle/new material for your blog ;)

    Hugs,

    Des xoxo

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  3. Here's some advice;

    Take up walking - that way you can hear heavy breathing again!

    Forget the dating service - have fun with dad and the kids.

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  4. Oh good Lord. That is some very funny stuff. I am only 32, but I think about that stuff too. I haven't been on a date in 3 years. Maybe it's my "high standards" of a man that are keeping me single LOL. I will have to share this with some of my readers.

    Thanks again for the smiles!

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  5. OH. C.R.A.P. HIT AGAIN! this wasn't supposed to post until the 21st...Danr.
    REMOVING IT!

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  6. NEVERMIND...I already have 5 comments...may as well leave it up!

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  7. OMG that was great, and I agree with 100% of your criteria. Thanks for the laugh I needed it!

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  8. Great cartoons to go along with this. It's a good thing you aren't picky about your requirements....you did forget the most important one...he needs a Sense of Humor!

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